LAUGH LINES

Mistaken Identity: A man in Norway is recovering after an ostrich kicked him in the ribs. “You know why the ostrich kicked the guy? It was mating season and the ostrich apparently thought the guy was a male rival and it attacked him. . . . The man was very lucky the ostrich didn’t think he was a female. Think of how much worse that could have been!” (Jay Leno)

Web Sights: “Miramax will be the first major studio to release movies on the Internet. Will the ones going straight to Internet be the ones not good enough to go straight to video?” (Daily Scoop)

On the Campaign Trail: “Mattel Toys has created . . . the Barbie for President doll. . . . She never changes expression, rarely moves her arms and legs and stands stiffly. Wait a minute, Barbie is Al Gore!” (Jerry Perisho)

Making It Rights: “The Vermont state Senate has voted to allow gay couples to form ‘civil unions’ . . . which grants them the same legal rights as married couples. For example: the right to go deeply in debt planning a wedding and reception. The right to be stuck with visiting in-laws. The right to have friends say, ‘You were so much more fun before you got hitched.’ ” (Daily Scoop)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.