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His Required Reading Comes Between the Lines

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Searching Amazon.com, you can save $4 off the list price on Joe Morgan’s “Baseball For Dummies,” which takes three days for delivery. I don’t know if Davey Johnson can afford to wait that long.

If I’m Dodger chairman Bob Daly, I’m immediately investing $13.56 in Bob Cluck’s “Play Better Baseball: Winning Techniques and Strategies for Coaches and Players,” because it can be shipped to Johnson in 24 hours and according to Amazon.com’s review, is good for “coaches at all levels.”

It’s not my place to tell Johnson how to manage, of course, and I would never presume to know more than any athlete, coach or owner.

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OK, so maybe more than Georgia Frontiere. And Donald Sterling. Consider the potential offspring from that marriage.

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SOMEONE NEEDS TO step to the plate and save the Dodgers, which by coincidence is covered in detail in “The Baseball Coaching Bible.”

Somewhat loosely paraphrasing chapter three, “If you’re stuck with an erratic sort like Chan Ho Park in your less-than-inspiring rotation and he has given up a single and walks two Phillies--of all stiffs--in a row to load the bases in a 2-2 game in the bottom of the seventh, and you’re trying to win a division title and he already leads the league in walks allowed, hello is anybody home in the bullpen?”

So Park throws four more pitches--all balls--and the Dodgers get the chance to tie the game in the ninth when Dave Hansen opens with a walk.

Johnson sends in Alex Cora to run for Hansen, and then tells everyone after the game he was counting on his next two batters to hit the ball out of the park. I guess he figured Cora would look better than Hansen trotting to the plate ahead of whomever hit the home run.

In “101 Championship Baseball Drills,” the author unveils an innovative and strikingly creative new technique called “bunting.”

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I haven’t seen the 121-page book, but I would guess the jacket cover says, “It’s something that’s supposed to be used when a guy like Hansen opens the ninth with a walk, and losing by one run, the manager asks the next batter to sacrifice himself and place the tying run on second. This is known as a no-brainer among baseball people.”

If I’m Dodger chairman Bob Daly, I’m borrowing Kevin Brown’s private plane and going after that book right now.

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SOMEONE NEEDS TO step up and save the Dodgers, and so what does General Manager Kevin Malone do? He concentrates only on ex-Dodgers, bringing back Ismael Valdes and Tom Goodwin. The trading deadline does not concern Fernando; he can be brought back at any time because he’s no longer under contract to anyone.

In Goodwin, Malone gives Johnson a hangman’s noose, a leadoff hitter who likes to run, and if Johnson fails to take advantage of this leadoff hitter, who also likes to strike out, management has set the foundation for his departure at season’s end for failure to utilize his personnel properly.

If I’m Davey Johnson, I’m not waiting two or three days for Ron Fraser’s “Hit and Run Baseball,” I’m having all 168 pages faxed ASAP.

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SHOOTING OF “61*” was scheduled to be completed Monday night in the Coliseum, which has been remade to look like Baltimore’s Memorial Stadium.

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The Billy Crystal directed and produced HBO Films production tells the story of Roger Maris’ 1961 quest to top Babe Ruth and will air next spring.

Barry Pepper, the sniper in “Saving Private Ryan,” who bears a strong resemblance to Maris, took batting lessons from former Dodger Reggie Smith. Thomas Jane from the “Deep Blue Sea” will play Mickey Mantle, and former Dodger Tom Candiotti will play the role of former knuckleball pitcher Hoyt Wilhelm.

A studio spokesman didn’t know who would play the part of Tracy Stallard, serving up the 61st home run in Yankee Stadium, but if they want to get it on the first take, they ought to have Eric Gagne do the pitching.

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USC COACH PAUL Hackett worked five years with Joe Montana in the pros, and went to Canton for the Hall of Fame induction ceremony.

Now if he’s any kind of coach, he can save himself some money and book a flight right now for 2022 for Carson Palmer’s induction.

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OH, AND HAVE a nice day:

* The Times featured two pictures of 80-year-old Juan Antonio Samaranch in his underwear Monday. I think everyone would have taken his word for it had he just answered, “Boxers.”

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* A New York newspaper had John Rocker being traded to the Indians, and while it never happened, now that Cleveland Municipal Stadium has been torn down, Rocker could have become known as “the mistake by the lake.”

* The Times does not regret incorrectly reporting Monday morning that Shawn Green was hitting .182 during the month of July. Although he was actually hitting .192, obviously an attempt was being made to motivate Green by making him think he was falling below the F.P. Santangelo line (.183).

* The Angel public relations department proudly pointed out that the team’s four young starting pitchers have combined to win 20 games. All veteran Ken Hill has to do is win 50 or 60 games, and the Angels will have the kind of rotation to put them in the playoffs.

* Bob Huggins had a Darva Conger dilemma. Would you take $8 million over four years to embarrass yourself as coach of the Clippers? At least he won’t have to worry about doing a Playgirl spread now.

* Given Dennis Miller’s entertaining debut, it’s not fair that he can’t work with material like the Chargers, Eagles and Saints, who haven’t been scheduled for prime time because they are incompetent. They don’t take politicians away from David Letterman.

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TODAY’S LAST WORD comes in an e-mail from Daphne:

“About what you said to Lisa Leslie after hitting 49 straight free throws . . . would you walk up to Shaq after a Laker game and say, ‘Jinx.’ ”

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Wouldn’t be necessary.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at his e-mail address: t.j.simers@latimes.com.

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