LAUGH LINES

Chill Factor: “Did you see magician David Blaine [encased] in that block of ice? . . . Any colder and he’d be a Hollywood agent.” (Daily Scoop)

What’s Next: When his term is finished, “President Clinton [says] what he would like to do [is] . . . be the mayor of New York City. . . . That’s great. That means we get back the strip joints and the hookers.” (David Letterman)

All Torn Up: “Actor Robert Downey Jr. was arrested recently on [drug possession charges]. Apparently, everyone on the set of ‘Ally McBeal’ was shocked to hear this. . . . In fact, some friends close to Calista Flockhart say they haven’t seen her this upset since the one time she accidentally swallowed some of her food.” (Mark Efman)

Something in the Air: “The FAA says US Airways acted reasonably when it allowed a passenger to bring her pet pig onto a coast-to-coast flight in October. . . . [The passenger] claimed she has a heart condition and needed the pig to reduce her stress. . . . Sure, it’s reasonable to bring a pig on board. After all, the airlines treat the rest of us like cattle.” (Daily Scoop)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA 90012.