This Is Only Adding Fool to the Fire

Bill Lyon in the Philadelphia Inquirer, on Texas Ranger owner Tom Hicks and the signing of Alex Rodriguez:

“Back in September, the multibillionaire Hicks said in an interview: ‘The salaries are out of whack. I personally don’t think the clubs are going to be quite as foolish as you might read in the newspaper.’

“And then he spends, all by himself, $252 million for one shortstop. The Rangers reported more than 200 multiple-ticket purchases almost immediately.

“So, who’s the fool here?”

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More Rodriguez: “Alex made an owner decision,” said his agent, Scott Boras. “He wanted someone he could communicate with.”

Said Mitch Albom of the Detroit Free Press, “Right. Never mind that Rodriguez met the owner only a few weeks ago. At $25.2 million a year, it’s hard to find good conversation.”

And this from John McGrath of the Tacoma News Tribune: “A guy’s got a chance to settle down virtually anywhere on the map, and he picks a place where the 110-degree summer days are used to count down the opening of football training camp.”

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Trivia time: Other than Pete Carroll and Paul Hackett, who is the only other man who had NFL coaching experience before becoming USC’s football coach?

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Shame on them: Dave Kindred in the Sporting News: “The Redskins should be ashamed. Not the players, who don’t care. But management should be ashamed of paying $92.2 million for a team that quit against the Cowboys last week.

“And it didn’t quit in the late going. It quit from the get-go. Q-U-I-T. Had the Redskin players laid themselves on the turf, it would have been little more shameful than what they did in a 32-13 defeat.”

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Wah, wah: Comedian Jay Mohr, a contributor on Fox Sports Net’s “NFL This Morning” show, had this take on Redskin owner Daniel Snyder: “It’s too bad [he] couldn’t fire himself. This is not the behavior of an NFL owner.

“This the behavior of a colicky baby with his first Erector set. . . . Parents, listen to me. [He] is the primary example of why you should spank your children.”

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Be rude, as usual: Two-time defending Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong, incensed by endless unsubstantiated drug allegations from the French, has threatened to boycott next year’s Tour.

Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg told the San Francisco Chronicle: “Why can’t the French leave Armstrong alone and ignore him, just like they do the rest of the American tourists.”

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FYI: Tiger Woods won more money this year, $9.188 million, than the purse for the entire season on the PGA Tour in 1975, the year he was born,

$7.895 million.

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Misery at the line: Peter Vecsey of the New York Post, on Shaquille O’Neal’s struggles from the free-throw line:

“After watching Shaq fold, spindle and mutilate all 11 free-throw attempts in a loss to the Sonics, I know the real reason the NBA started using breakaway rims.”

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Trivia answer: John Robinson, who was an assistant with the Oakland Raiders in 1975.

And finally: Kevin McHale, an executive with the Minnesota Timberwolves who was put on leave until Aug. 1 for his part in the Joe Smith contract scandal:

“There are eight or 10 teams that do this all the time. They’re just good at it. We’re lousy. I think what people are going to say is, ‘Man, are they dumb in Minnesota.’ ”