All the Fuss Over Feuding

Are you embroiled in a feud with someone you used to love?

Get over it, Boze Hadleigh told members of the Round Table West book club during a luncheon Monday at the Balboa Bay Club in Newport Beach.

“Feuds aren’t worth the trouble,” he told the crowd. “They drain us emotionally, mentally and physically.”

Hadleigh should know. Author of “Celebrity Feuds!” (Taylor, $14.95), he spent months researching the hard feelings that exist between stars such as Julia Roberts and her brother Eric, Madonna and Sandra Bernhard, and Joan and Jackie Collins.

“Feuds may be fascinating to read about,” but in real life they’re downers, Hadleigh said. “Life is too short. And since the stars do it so well, leave it to them!”

Hundreds of book lovers--including Orange County philanthropist Donna Crean and her close friend, actress Jane Withers--listened intently as Hadleigh outlined the nature of feuds: “They tend to last a lifetime. They’re mostly fueled by jealousy. They are of an obsessive nature.”

An example: the long-standing antagonism that existed between Vivian Vance and William Frawley, co-stars with Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz of the “I Love Lucy” television series.

That feud began with an overheard remark. Vance, 22 years Frawley’s junior and once a glamorous Broadway star, felt the former vaudevillian was too old to play her husband.

“She wanted a husband that looked more like Ricky Ricardo,” Hadleigh explained.

One day, Frawley overheard Vance expressing her dismay to a producer about having to appear in the show with him.

After that, the two stars were on the outs.

While most feuds are limited to social slights and insults, they can turn deadly.

Take the death of actress Rachel Roberts, who timed her suicide to spoil the theatrical comeback of ex-husband Rex Harrison.

In 1980 at the age of 53, “she planned the event to coincide with the Los Angeles opening of Harrison’s ‘My Fair Lady’ [stage] tour,” Hadleigh writes.

She wanted newspaper headlines about her death to overshadow any acclaim Harrison might receive.

But the hoped-for outcome was not to be. “The gardener found her body a day later than she had planned,” Hadleigh said.

Also on the program at the monthly meeting of the nonprofit book club was an appearance by Diane Leslie, author of the autobiographical novel “Fleur De Leigh’s Life of Crime,” (Simon & Schuster, $23).

Leslie--the daughter of an attorney with a celebrity clientele and a mother who was a Hollywood screenwriter--grew up in a Beverly Hills household where she wanted for nothing--except “some loving attention.”

“I wrote the book on behalf of celebrity kids everywhere,” Leslie said. “I grew up with a lot of such children. It’s very hard to sympathize with them, yet I know personally what a tough life they had.

“Some of them didn’t make it to adulthood,” she added. “So I wanted to tell not just my own story, but what was closest to me, the story of growing up in a Hollywood family where it seems you have everything--maids, cooks, nannies--but in fact you have very little.”

For book club information: (323) 256-7977.

A Silver Anniversary

The Assessment and Treatment Services Center of Orange County celebrated 25 years of helping children at a gala dinner Saturday in the Anaheim Marriott hotel.

About 350 guests enjoyed the festivities, which included a sit-down dinner and remarks by Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist Jack Anderson.

Net proceeds of $150,000 from the event will be used to fund a new counseling center in Orange for ATSC, which already serves children and their families at offices in Newport Beach and Tustin.

ATSC counselors help troubled children by providing therapy for the entire family, said Grace A. Mucci, clinical director.

“We insist on seeing the whole family because, while individual therapy for children can be wonderful, they still have to go back home to their families.”

Stress in families from divorce, separation and financial difficulties “filters down to the children,” Mucci said. “And, before you know it, they’re not paying attention at school because they’re worried about what’s going on at home.”

Since it was founded in 1974, ATSC has treated more than 8,000 Orange County children and their families.

The children are referred to ATSC by law enforcement agencies and schools in the Newport-Mesa, Irvine, Tustin and Orange districts.

For information: (714) 552-3949.

Ballet Opening

Donors to the Orange County Performing Arts Center mingled with members of the Stuttgart Ballet at Diva restaurant in Costa Mesa after the troupe’s opening performance Tuesday night at Segerstrom Hall.

“This is one of the finest companies in the world,” Center President Jerry Mandel said before the show. “They are known for new ballet, taking chances, doing things that are extraordinary.”

The engagement continues through Sunday. For information: (949) 556-2121.

Mandel was also excited about the center’s newest support group, Bravo! The group, which is designed for young professionals, will be led by Danny Sonenshine, Leonie Mulvihill, Wendy Cantor, Renee Croce, Julia Rice and Kerri Sonenshine.

“Many of the members are sons and daughters of current board members and donors,” Mandel said. “Having the next generation sharing their enthusiasm for the center speaks well for its future.”

For information: (714) 556-2121, Ext. 218.

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In last Thursday’s column, pediatric oncologist Steven Neudorf’s hospital affiliation was incorrectly stated. He is medical director of the CHOC Cancer Institute at Children’s Hospital of Orange County.

Ann Conway can be reached at (714) 966-5952 or by e-mail at ann.conway@latimes.com.

* INSPIRED: Stuttgart Ballet takes cues from other artists, composers. Weekend, Page 63