Explaining NFL Players Off Field Is Tough Enough

World Wrestling Federation owner Vince McMahon’s announcement that he was starting a new professional football league, the XFL, made a lot of news last month. And the majority of the opinions expressed on the league’s future is that it will fail like others such as the United States Football League and World League of American Football before it.

But former WWF star Bret Hart, now with rival World Championship Wrestling, offered a different theory as to why the league’s life span will be short in his weekly column in the Calgary Sun: The same raciness that has made the WWF a success.

“I can just imagine McMahon’s XFL cheerleaders in thongs with their tops ‘accidentally’ falling off. How would you like to explain to your kids that you don’t want them watching football anymore?”

*

Trivia time: What trick catch is worth the most points in a boomerang competition?

*

Ante up: Jay Greenberg of the New York Post, highlighting the best and worst of New York athletes, on the Mets’ Rickey Henderson, dubbed most selfish.

“When you can’t catch the ball anymore, you get replaced in the late innings. That’s just the way the cards are dealt, both in life and by Bobby Bo in the clubhouse during the 11th when you could care less how an NLCS game is progressing without you.”

*

All aboard! Greenberg on Met pitcher Armando Benitez, called the most hated New York athlete in his own city.

“Mustard on the ball. To the other dugout, mustard on the brain. The only guy on the No. 7 train John Rocker understands and admires.”

*

O.J. who? Defensive end Bruce Smith, on how Buffalo’s treatment of running back Thurman Thomas affected his decision not to restructure his contract.

“If they would have treated him with a little more respect than they did, it might have affected my decision differently. This man is the greatest running back who has ever played for the Buffalo Bills.”

*

Don’t strike up the band: Bill Lyon of the Philadelphia Inquirer on Ken Griffey Jr.’s acceptance of a “below market” $116.5-million contract.

“It will not be necessary for Willie Nelson to round up the Farm Aid cast, circle the tractors and put on a benefit for Junior and his destitute relations.”

*

One of a kind: Bob Ryan of the Boston Globe on the one thing keeping the Golden State Warriors from becoming the laughingstock of the NBA.

“The Warriors aren’t the handy reference point for ineptitude that the Clippers are, simply because there is only one Donald T. Sterling.”

*

Trivia answer: A leg or foot catch, which is worth five points.

*

And finally: The Newark Star-Ledger’s Dave D’Alessandro, on the Dallas Mavericks’ signing of Dennis Rodman.

“On face value, it’s a perfect match: The NBA’s resident goofball joins up with the most clueless team in the league. Perhaps we should sit back and be satisfied by the comic relief that is sure to follow.

“If nothing else, Dennis is an attraction, just as a 12-car pileup is an attraction.”