Canada Film Group to Hollywood: Cut

Not sure if you have heard, but a regulatory body in Canada has banned all Hollywood movies from being shown in prime time on Canadian Broadcasting Corp. stations.

The move is aimed at showcasing more Canadian movies, and, fortunately, there are many. Canadian classics soon to be aired, include:

* “Sleepless in Saskatoon”

* “Edmonton Confidential”

* “Halifax Cop”

* “Down and Out in Ottawa”

And, of course:

* “Moose Jaw, Moose Jaw” (“if you can make it in Moose Jaw, you can make it anywhere”).

SUCH A DEAL! For our special shopping section, we bring you:

* A free lunch offer with confusing conditions. (Submitted by Pam McKniff).

* A soft drink that seems to be cheaper than free (Jerry Rutledge).

* An eatery that advertises “free delivery and carryout.” (Submitted by Jim Curnutt, who asks, “Would any restaurant charge extra if you came in to pick up your food?”)

* And, a free “pulbication” (Josh Stiel), proving you get what you pay for.

ORANGE COUNTY LAW: Covering the Newport Beach trial of a freelance TV cameraman charged with interfering with police, Garry Abrams wrote in the L.A. Daily Journal that the jurors “are such a hard-bitten lot they’d send grandma to jail for feeding the birds.”

Abrams explained that Orange County Deputy Dist. Atty. Anthony Ferrentino had posed that “criminal crumb-spreading caper as a test of the panel’s respect for the majesty of the law” and all jurors “agreed that granny should go to the slammer--if the maternal miscreant violated a hypothetical prohibition on bird feeding in public parks . . . just to entertain her adoring grandchildren.”

Freelance journalist David Harvey is accused of five counts of interfering with police at two accident scenes in Irvine.

Of Ferrentino’s bird-feeding example, Abrams quipped: “I don’t know if Ferrentino was signaling jurors that the case against Harvey is for the birds. . . .”

MALIBU LAW: Obviously trying to combat the stuffy image of his profession, Pepperdine Law School Dean Richardson Lynn reports thusly on his department in the school’s magazine:

“The various student groups have been active, inviting prominent, important lawyers to campus. (Except for the Anarchist’s Club. It keeps disbanding.)”

You have to admit he’s funnier than the guy originally tabbed for the job--Ken Starr.

WHICH REMINDS ME: Comic Bill Maher is quoted in the Wall Street Journal on the Y2K scare: “We spent all the money for nothing. It’s like a worldwide Ken Starr investigation.”

miscelLAny:

I have to admit I initially figured this was a Y2K glitch. The police log of the Los Alamitos News-Enterprise carried an item that said: “Dec. 31, Bluebird Lane, 9:56 a.m.: A woman reported having around 30 Christmas trees in her driveway.”

But the police log added that the trees might “possibly” have been put there “by her teenage daughter playing a prank.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.