When the Name Fits the Job

Don’t know you if you heard, but Andrew Butterbrodt is Los Angeles’ newest CEO. Butterbrodt means “sandwich” in Russian and is very close to the German word for “bread and butter.” All of which is appropriate for a guy who has just been named to run the moving and storage company Starving Students Inc.

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MOVING ON TO HUNGRY COWBOYS: “Homeless Dan, a hard-riding cowpoke who recently ambled onto the Santa Monica Promenade, sends a romantic signal that he’s a straight shooter who would treat the right gal fair and square,” writes Richard Chase (see photo).

And, noticing Homeless Dan’s attempt at legal terminology, Chase adds that the cowboy would also undoubtedly keep a gal “spellbound.”

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MYSTERY PLATE: On the Santa Monica Freeway, Chris Brame saw a car with the vanity plate ECOLI4U. “For me?” Brame said. “No thanks, I just ate.” He wonders if the driver is a meat inspector.

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‘NUFF SAID! Ann Luke passed along an ad placed by an aquarium owner who was honest enough to reveal what the problem was (see accompanying).

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HOMELESS DAN, YOU LISTENING? A male colleague was entering a convenience store in L.A. when a panhandling woman walked up and wisecracked: “Can you take me home and feed me for three months?”

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ON THE ROAD: Adelaide Tatto of Pacoima found an eclectic store in Benson, Ariz., that can provide whatever kind of support you need (see photo).

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SELF-SERVING: At a Seal Beach gas station, Kelly Fogarty noticed this electronic message for motorists pumping gas:

“Please do not use Self-Phones.”

Fogarty quipped that it struck her as the perfect term “for what we self-important people use in our cars.”

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GROUCHO--THE LATER YEARS: In Stefan Kanter’s new book, “The Essential Groucho,” I came across a collection of the comic’s lesser-known witticisms on “You Bet Your Life,” the 1950s radio and TV quiz show that he hosted.

Ready for a few? Just follow the bouncing cigar.

* Groucho, to a contestant who was in the California Air National Guard: “What does California need an air force for? We have no air out here.”

* To a rabbi who mentioned that many actors attended his temple: “I’m surprised you allow so much ham in your temple.”

* To a tree surgeon: “Have you ever fallen out of a patient?”

* To a dance instructor for Arthur Murray: “You mean after all these years Arthur still hasn’t learned how to dance?”

* To a contestant who praised L.A.: “It’s a wonderful city. . . . If they’d lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I’d settle here until the next earthquake.”

* And, finally, to a woman married 31 years to the same man: “If he’s been married for 31 years, he’s not the same man.”

miscelLAny:

The discussion here about an ad for a “Rod Iron” patio set inspired Richard Schulenberg to write: “One must really go back to the Old Masters rather than pick on amateurs. There used to be a shop on Overland Boulevard, undoubtedly carrying on a family tradition of many generations, which had a wrought iron sign that proudly announced: ‘Rot Iron.”’

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.