LAUGH LINES

Full of Grace: “In New York, California and 14 other states, Tuesday was Big Tuesday. In New Orleans, it was Fat Tuesday. Unfortunately for Bill Bradley, it was Big Fat Nothing Tuesday.” (Alex Kaseberg)

Bottoms Up: “[George W. Bush] kind of misses the old days, when Super Tuesday came between Ladies Night Monday and All-You-Can-Drink Thursdays.” (Bill Maher)

No Excuse: “[Mardi Gras points up] the difference between New Orleans and New York City. Here in New York City, we don’t need excuses to get drunk and urinate in the street.” (David Letterman)

Money Changes Everything: “They say Bradley [did] great with Democrats who make over $100,000 a year. You know what they call Democrats who make over a $100,000 a year? Republicans, that’s the problem.” (Jay Leno)

Rock Solid: “Earth, Wind & Fire reunited for the [Rock and Roll Hall of Fame] event. The group broke up several years ago after Earth and Fire said they got sick of all that Wind. And in a touching ceremony Keith Richard’s veins received a lifetime achievement award.” (Craig Kilborn)

Getting Real: “[Mardi Gras is where] women show their real breasts and the guys throw fake beads. As opposed to L.A., where women show fake breasts and get real beads.” (Leno)

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