LAUGH LINES
Echoes From the Past: “[Sen. John McCain’s] people are denying that he would accept an offer to be vice president. Well I can understand that. Shut up in a room with nothing to do for four years--had enough of that as a POW.” (Jay Leno)
Divvying Up: Divorcing “Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?” couple Darva Conger and Rick Rockwell “are going to split everything right down the middle. They’ll each get 7.5 minutes of fame.” (Craig Kilborn)
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The Essential David Letterman
Top Headlines During a George W. Bush Presidency
10. “President Streaks Supreme Court”
8. “President to Nation: ‘Do These Nonprescription Eyeglasses Make Me Look Smarter?’ ”
7. “Bush to Hussein: ‘I’m Telling My Daddy on You’ ”
6. “President Cancels Meeting With Pope After Discovering He’s Catholic”
4. “America Under Siege: Day 16 of President’s Head Stuck in Banister”
2. “President Completes Three-Month ‘Goodwill Tour’ of Amsterdam”
1. “President Trades America for ‘Magic Dog’ ”
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