getting called on the carpet

As Melissa Rivers, the european history major-cum-fashion maven and 32-year-old daughter of Joan, prepares to dish star styles on her sixth Oscar pre-show tonight (the centerpiece of “E!’s” nine hours of live oscar coverage), we discuss tact, nightmares and the grammy dress that just won’t die.

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Q. Can you believe they were claiming there was no hidden tape holding that “dress” together?

A. Oh, please! There was glue.

Q. Who do you predict will be the Jennifer Lopez of this year’s Oscars?

A. Gwyneth Paltrow. Last year she was so wholesome, like a fairy princess. This year she might go in a totally different direction and come as a sex bomb.

Q. If your mom hadn’t been in show biz--if she’d been, say, an orthodontist--do you think you’d have followed suit?

A. Doubt it.

Q. Any trouble getting celebs to stop on the red carpet?

A. Not at all.

Q. Then why were you handing out free cameras at the Golden Globes?

A. The cameras only went to the stars who heard about them while they watched the pre-show in their limos on the way to the Golden Globes. Don’t think they didn’t run like banshees! People came up to me and said, ‘Where’s my camera?!’

Q. Ever talked to someone who was wearing something so ghastly that you had to restrain yourself from commenting right then and there?

A. Always save it for the after-show. We never say, “You look terrible” on the carpet.

Q. Do you ever receive celebrity flak after your post-show critiques?

A. Lots of times we’re accused of saying things we never said, and we’ve had to issue cease-and-desist letters from the “E!” lawyers to force people to stop attributing false and hurtful comments to us.

Q. Do you prep for the arrivals, or pretty much wing it?

A. I cram for everything. I try to watch all the movies to be aware of what’s been going on. I have this recurring nightmare that I’m interviewing John Cusack, and he’s yelling at me for wearing a navy blue dress. And I’m yelling back: “It’s Vera Wang! It’s Vera Wang!” That means I’m ready. That is my stress dream.