Brotherly Love May Be Tested Here

I was intrigued by a crime log piece in the city of Paramount’s newsletter about an unlicensed driver who was pulled over by a sheriff’s deputy for speeding.

“Since he had no ID, the driver gave the deputy a name and birth date,” the newsletter said. “Based on that information, the officer arrested the driver. . . .”

Why? The driver had used his brother’s name to evade arrest. Apparently there hadn’t been too many family get-togethers lately because the driver wasn’t aware that the brother had several outstanding warrants.

The newsletter, however, failed to say why the driver hadn’t used his own name and birth date (though I’ll bet you have the same hunch I did). I researched the matter and learned--surprise!-- he had an outstanding warrant of his own for assault.

So, after deputies determined his true identity, he stayed put in the hoosegow.

CONSOLATION PRIZE? Lisalee Anne Wells of Long Beach writes: “Since the brouhaha in Florida will leave someone very disappointed, I found an alternative West Wing the loser can occupy. This one’s in Las Vegas.” (see photo).

WHICH REMINDS ME: Comic Joan Rivers told Larry King that she wasn’t impressed with either of the presidential candidates. “Marilyn Monroe wouldn’t have slept with either one of them,” Rivers said.

WHAT A JOB THAT WOULD BE FOR BEKINS: Back in Southern California, the aforementioned (and ever-observant) Wells also made the stunning discovery that the Alameda Corridor has moved (see photo). Fortunately, it left a forwarding address.

SCARY ALTERNATE ROUTE? Despite what you might think, the locker that Don Garabedian noticed in the Wilmington area is not for street rage equipment, thank goodness (see photo).

GOOD THING LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE: The other day, I spoke to a group of doctors, one of whom gave me a list of wacky quotes making the rounds at his hospital. Here are a few of the bloopers, which were entered in medical records as dictated by physicians.

* Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

* By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

* On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

* The patient refused an autopsy.

* The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant, with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.

* She is numb from her toes down.

* Patient was alert and unresponsive.

* When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

SPEAKING OF WEIRD PROGNOSES: Paul Silveira of Woodland Hills rented the movie “Girl, Interrupted” at Blockbuster Video and noticed that the synopsis on the box said: “A young woman (Winona Ryder) is put into a mental institution after she commits suicide. . . .”

PEELING BACK: The original selling price for Ken Bannister’s 25-year-old Banana Museum earlier this year was $920,000. After getting only a few nibbles, Bannister now says he’s willing to part with the 17,000-banana-artifact shrine in Altadena, as well as his trademarks and Web site domains, for $750,000. He insists there’ll be no further slippage in the price.

miscelLAny:

“I was shopping in Wal-Mart,” writes Dennis Baccus, “and I overheard a young boy ask his mother, as they were walking through the heavily Christmas-themed store, ‘Mom, what ever happened to Thanksgiving?”

Could there be a Thanksgiving grinch?

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.