Facing Lingering Effects of Violence

In a moving testament against domestic violence, Antonio Villaraigosa recounted Thursday a childhood marked by fear of an abusive, alcoholic father who often beat his mother.

The audience at Cal State Northridge listened in silence as Villaraigosa, mayoral candidate and former speaker of the Assembly, said that 40 years later, he is still haunted by the memory of his mother’s screams.

“I was 3, 4, 5, hearing the screams in the living room, the bedroom, all sides,” Villaraigosa, 47, said in a keynote speech at the fourth annual Ending Violence Against Women conference.

“I felt chills going down my spine, terrified of this man--my father--who was beating my mother, and fearing that my sister and I would be next.”

Villaraigosa’s mother has since passed away, and his father has lost touch with the family since he left them more than 40 years ago, said Elena Stern, a spokeswoman for Villaraigosa.

Los Angeles County Dist. Atty. Gil Garcetti later told conferees that most death row inmates come from abusive homes.

Villaraigosa urged community members to break the cycle and set an example for their children.

“I tell my own son: Hitting women is unacceptable,” he said.

Women are not the only victims of violence, although they comprise the majority, said Susan Holt, director of the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center. Men are increasingly victims of emotionally and physically abusive relationships.

“Violence is not defined by gender or size,” said Holt. “Violence is about desire to maintain power and control over the victim.”

Because the common perception of domestic violence is that of a heterosexual man against a woman, same-sex abuse and violence against gays, lesbians and bisexuals are overlooked, Holt said.

“Victim invisibility leaves thousands dangerously underserved,” she said. “Thankfully, there are more than 2,500 shelters and hotlines for battered women, but only a handful for gay and lesbian victims.”

Villaraigosa called for stronger policies against violence, with the audience punctuating his address with loud applause.

“Write to the governor,” he urged. “We don’t do enough to fund the very important domestic violence shelters. We need to work on legislation preventing insurance companies from discriminating against battered women--yes, they do that. We need to bench abusive athletes. If they commit domestic violence, then they shouldn’t play sports.”

Earlier in the conference, domestic violence survivors spoke. Yvonne Kranz, who said she was subjected to seven years of abuse, read a collection of quotes she said helped her to recover.

“Cher once said, ‘The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing, and then marry him, “‘ said Kranz, who is now a counselor. “I knew it wasn’t my fault, but I had to remind myself, ‘You may not be responsible for being down, but you must be responsible for getting up.’ ”