Readers Going Off on Two More Rants

I very much resent Mike Penner’s implication [Aug. 25] that people who don’t like Dennis Miller doing football are the ones who don’t get his humor. We don’t like his cluttering up the broadcast because we’re all too stupid to understand him? Give me a break. I get him. I like him. But I’m trying to listen to a football game, not an HBO comedy special.

Contrary to network belief, the lower ratings have been because of awful games, not the lack of endless, egotistical gab. I listened to a lot more of the broadcasts after Dierdorf left than I did while he was there, and I’m certainly going to have the sound off if Miller stays. Too bad too, because I really like Dan Fouts.

MICHAEL HELWIG

Canoga Park

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Just because Dennis Miller has been criticized for taking obviously scripted (but funny) material and working it into his “Monday Night Football” telecasts, don’t expect him to abandon the practice. After all, that’s what Miller does for a living. With the St. Louis Rams and Denver Broncos kicking off the season Monday night, expect to hear at least one of the following observations:

1. Responding to Al Michaels’ announcement that this will be MNF’s 31st season on the air: “Yeah, and ABC is hoping the ratings will be higher than Keith Richards at midnight on New Year’s Eve.”

2. To Dan Fouts’ comment on the complexity of the Rams’ playbook: “The players say the Rams’ offense is so hard to understand, it makes Stephen Hawking’s theory of time read like ‘Harry Potter and the Washington Wizards.’ ”

3. To a split-screen shot of the two teams’ expressionless head coaches: “If these guys went head to head in a personality contest, there would be no winner. I mean, either one of these guys would make Al Gore look like Robin Williams on an acid trip.”

4. To Michaels’ comment on the number of new coaches in the league: “NFL coaches have about as much job security as a Firestone tire quality assurance manager moonlighting as Barbra Streisand’s gardener.”

See you Monday night, Dennis! I’m outta here.

DAVID MACARAY

Rowland Heights