The Two-Minute Drill

at BALTIMORE 39, JACKSONVILLE 36

After the victory, Raven quarterback Tony Banks says “It was like we won the Super Bowl.” And with Tony Banks as your quarterback, that’s as close as you’re going to get.

at BUFFALO 27, GREEN BAY 18

Packer quarterback Brett Favre, after passing for 269 yards and two touchdowns: “I felt I did everything I could do today. I left it all on the field.” Your teammates left it all on the field too. In 1998.

CLEVELAND 24, at CINCINNATI 7

Cleveland fans are thrilled because Tim Couch outplayed Akili Smith. Which is similar to being thrilled because your C-average student has a higher IQ than your neighbor’s.

OAKLAND 38, at INDIANAPOLIS 31

The three rushing touchdowns by Rich Gannon were the most by a quarterback against the Colts since Tobin Rote in 1954. You remember him. He’s the father of the guy who wins all the “Superstars” competitions on ESPN Classic.

at MINNESOTA 13, MIAMI 7

Dolphin quarterback Jay Fiedler comes back to earth, completing 12 of 31 passes for 175 yards with one interception. I remember that other quarterback’s name now.

NEW YORK GIANTS 33, at PHILADELPHIA 18

Eagles go from top of the world to their more familiar role as division doormat. Here’s how bad the loss was for the Eagles: Their player of the game was Sean Landeta. He’s the punter.

at TAMPA BAY 41, CHICAGO 0

Michael Jordan, taking time away from his grueling schedule, visits the Buccaneers and wonders exactly why everyone is so happy with the victory. After all, he scored 41 points every night.

at TENNESSEE 17, KANSAS CITY 14 (OT)

The Titans are now 9-0 at Adelphia Coliseum. Wait a second. Adelphia can build a state-of-the-art stadium, but when my cable reception goes out, no one can even answer the phone?

at DENVER 42, ATLANTA 14

Falcon Coach Dan Reeves has always said that you can find positives in any loss. This could be a tough one though. Wait, here’s one: Your kickoff return team got a lot of work in.

at DETROIT 15, WASHINGTON 10

Despite spending about a trillion dollars on players, Redskins’ owner Daniel Snyder’s rebuilt team is 1-1, and could easily be 0-2. Look everybody, it’s the emperor’s new clothes.

NEW ORLEANS 28, at SAN DIEGO 27

Ryan Leaf threw his first touchdown pass since October of 1998. He followed it up by throwing two key interceptions as the Saints rallied to win. Here’s something for the Chargers to look into: Leaf is not very good.

ST. LOUIS 37, at SEATTLE 34

After the Rams escape with another narrow victory, owner Georgia Frontiere says all of these close games are aging her quickly. Which, if you think about it, really isn’t all that bad of an idea.

CAROLINA 38, at SAN FRANCISCO 22

49er Coach Steve Mariucci hints that he might bench quarterback Jeff Garcia in favor of Rick Mirer. So instead of finishing 3-13 this season, they might break through for four victories.

at ARIZONA 32, DALLAS 31

Sunday night’s nationally televised game saw a revival of Jake Plummer as a come-from-behind artist. But wouldn’t it be better if the Cardinals didn’t always put him in that position?

Open date: PITTSBURGH