Reality TV or a Really Big Mess?

Oh, the trials of toilet technology.

Laser beam technology was installed to make the toilets at Paramount Park flush on their own, the city’s newsletter said.

Alas, puzzled park workers discovered that someone had covered the toilets’ electronic eyes with paper. And the toilets, as a result, were unflushed.

Then they learned the reason for the problem: Park goers apparently thought the eyes were cameras.

You can’t blame the suspicious citizens. Who knows how far this reality TV craze is going to go?

SUCH A DEAL: Roger Weinhouse, of Manhattan Beach, found a T-shirt sale where it didn’t pay to buy in bulk (see photo).

THAT PERSONAL TOUCH: The promoter of some Internet junk scheme had the e-mail address of Andrea Calhoun, of Santa Monica, but not her name. No problem!

The message began:

“Hi Nonegiven!”

As for the company’s offer, Calhoun’s answer was: “Nonetaken.”

ON THE ROAD: Wally Gilbert, of Irvine, noticed what would be an eerie sign on I-60, if it weren’t on the outskirts of Hope, Ariz. (see photo).

Then again, perhaps the warning is serious. California is on the other side of that sign.

COACH! PUT IN A SUB FOR L.A.! One of the disadvantages of living in a backwater area like Southern California is the absence of a pro football team.

I was reminded of this sad fact when Dan Fink, of Los Angeles, sent me an ad he found for a nationwide Staples/NFL drawing.

It said: “Win $5,000 in school supplies for your school. Plus an appearance by your local NFL coach.”

Local NFL coach, right. But wait. A closer reading showed that communities that don’t measure up to NFL standards aren’t necessarily left out.

The fine print of the contest at www.staples.com/NFL says: “Local NFL team is defined as team closest in proximity to winner’s school.”

Guess that would mean the San Diego Chargers for Southern California.

If you consider the winless Chargers a team.

SUDDEN THOUGHT: But Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis claims he still has the territorial rights to L.A.

Now there’s a scary thought: A representative of the Raiders coming to your child’s school!

FLYING THE COOP: The Spruce Goose, which left Long Beach in 1992 (and not under its own power), is back on public display in a hangar in McMinnville, Ore. The 219-foot-long wooden cargo plane, designed by Howard Hughes, chalked up a total of about one minute in flying time. Hughes took it for a skip that brief across Long Beach Harbor on Nov. 2, 1947.

Visiting relatives that day, I actually witnessed the event and burst into tears. Of course, I was only 17 months old.

Taxpayers could have been excused for crying too. Hughes used $18 million in government funds to hatch the curiosity.

OOH LA LA: On EBay, Alan Beauchesne discovered that the lacalifusa.com Web domain name is for sale and the asking price for the opening bid is $5.5 million.

Well, the owner can always hope.

miscelLAny:

OC Weekly’s “Best of Orange County” readers’ poll chose Laguna Beach as the best place to get married.

No. 2? It was a city somewhat northeast of Laguna: Las Vegas.