Gomer Could Pull One Over on This Guy

Skip Bayless of the Chicago Tribune, ridiculing Chicago Bear General Manager Mark Hatley on his selections in the NFL draft:

“You got Hatleyed again, Bear fans. He got high-lowed by the 49ers and Seahawks, who drafted circles around him. One team picked his pocket, the other played him for an old-school fool.

“I feel like I’m watching, ‘Gomer Pyle, NFL.’ ”

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Trivia time: Who was the Rams’ first draft choice in their inaugural season in Los Angeles in 1946?

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Boring zone: Anthony Mason of the Miami Heat on the new NBA rules: “We’ve got two WNBAs now. They’re just killing the game. Nobody wants to see a group of people standing around, moving side to side.

“I can’t believe they got enough votes to pass that. It must be a bunch of soft people voting.”

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Minor pairing: Bud Geracie in the San Jose Mercury News: “Had you said 10 years ago that Jose Canseco would be playing for the Newark Bears, I’d have bet you meant Ozzie. And we’d both be right.”

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More Geracie: “Deposed Wizard Coach Leonard Hamilton expressed disappointment that the team ‘didn’t have the types of wins we needed’--which would be wins of any type.”

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Unusual claim: Joe Stein in the San Diego Union-Tribune: “Can any high school claim both Heisman Trophy and Nobel Prize winners? Highland Park in Dallas can, with Doak Walker and physicist James W. Cronin. And it also turned out an Oscar winner in Dorothy Malone.”

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Super praise: How good is Virginia Tech quarterback Michael Vick, the first-round draft choice of the Atlanta Falcons? Said Frank Beamer, his college coach: “He’s got some Michael Jordan qualities, some Tiger Woods qualities.”

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Timely award: Ron Rapoport in the Chicago Sun-Times: “My favorite Emmy is the one that went to NBC for ‘Outstanding Live Event Turnaround’ for its coverage of the Olympics. Not bad, considering the event was dead by the time anyone actually saw it.”

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More Rapoport: “The Stardust Race and Sports Book lists the San Antonio Spurs as 2-1 to win the NBA title, with the Lakers second choice at 5-2. Caesars Race & Sports Book likes the same teams but sees it 9-5 for the Spurs and 6-5 for the Lakers.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1963, Bob Cousy ended his 13-year Boston Celtic career by scoring 18 points to lead the Celtics to their fifth consecutive NBA title by beating the Lakers, 112-109.

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Trivia answer: Halfback Emil Sitko of Notre Dame, who never played for the Rams. He later played for the San Francisco 49ers and Chicago Cardinals.

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And finally: NBC basketball analyst Bill Walton: “If [Allen] Iverson gets into a shooting slump, gets in foul trouble, or even worse, gets hurt, then the Sixers are immediately [a] shambles, instantly transformed into the Denver Nuggets or Atlanta Hawks.”