Elvis, Viagra and Other Tantalizing Tidbits From Paramount’s Newsletter

A young man was cited in a truancy sweep in Paramount by L.A. County sheriff’s deputies despite his excuse: He claimed he had been suspended from school.

For truancy.

More boffo releases: I found the above item in City Talk, the newsletter of Paramount. As I’ve said before, the Paramount publication has more entertaining plots and subplots than the motion pictures put out by that other Paramount.

Some other City Talk entries:

* Public Safety personnel noticed what they assumed was a religious shrine inside a home, what with all its candles, statues and photos. A closer look revealed that the icons depicted Elvis.

* A frantic man called the Sheriff’s Department to report that his bottle of Viagra had been stolen, urging them to get moving on the investigation. He explained that his girlfriend “was on her way over.”

* Deputies with a search warrant said they found narcotics hidden in a parolee’s small box--where he had also stashed his parole officer’s business card.

I only wish Paramount’s news letter showed trailers.

Say “Ah” (or “Huh?”): Ellen Nelson of Encino came across a dentist who evidently asks patients to arrange their emergencies ahead of time--but at least offers prizes. Not just any prizes, either (see accompanying).

They wanted someone who knew his way around fire hydrants, too: Cliff Dektar tipped me that the L.A. City Fire Department’s weekly bulletin listed a new arson investigator who drools a bit and scratches himself in public. But he’s got a good sniffer (see accompanying).

Not to worry: Just a note to tell Diana Markes Levitt that the placard she saw in West Hollywood is an old joke--I mean, the one that says: “Lost dog--3 legs, blind in left eye, missing right eye, broken tail, recently castrated, answers to the name of ‘Lucky.’ ”

Thanks for the warning: Ernie Scheuer noticed that a Westside eatery advertised “falafel and foul sandwiches.”

Ideal for people whose last name is “Sample”: An Aug. 17 sports auction by Lelands of New York offers, among other mementos, a “1984 Los Angeles Olympic Gold Medal” ($500 minimum).

Said the catalog: “Only difference from the medals that the winners receive and this one is the word ‘Sample’ stamped on front and back.”

Coasting in the wrong direction: When I spotted “Orange Crush” by Tim Dorsey in the bookstore, I quickly grabbed it, thinking it was a mystery about the so-named intersection of the 5, 22 and 57 freeways.

Alas, the book is set in Florida. I haven’t been so disappointed since I bought two works by Thomas Mann that I thought were potboilers about L.A. tourist attractions: “Death in Venice” and “The Magic Mountain.”

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miscelLAny: So pro football’s preseason has begun and soon 31 NFL teams will be vying for a spot in the big game. As a reminder, I’ve enclosed a snapshot that Michael Cowell of La Habra Heights took before last season’s championship encounter (see photo). Ironic that the store would call it the “Super Owl” when the game has put so many fans to sleep over the years.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.