Beating Giants a Real Chore for Eagles

Bill Lyon in the Philadelphia Inquirer, on the Eagles’ 20-10 playoff loss to the New York Giants:

“They are the faucet that won’t stop dripping, the door that always sticks, the window shade that won’t stay down.

“For the flummoxed Eagles, the Giants remain the question for which there is no answer. . . . You get the feeling that if the teams played each other 10 times, the Birds would lose nine times. Oh wait, they already have.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NFL record for playoff touchdown passes?

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Embarrassing: Bernie Lincicome in the Rocky Mountain News, on the Giants remaining alive in the playoffs:

“[They are] the adopted pride of New Jersey, a geographical insult so great to New York City that mayors refuse to even make a bet on the game.

“Rudy Giuliani has left the usual political wagering to the New Jersey governor, who is trying hard to figure out what New Jersey might have that anyone wants.”

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Are you happy now? Al Groh’s departure from the New York Jets to become the University of Virginia coach is in the good-riddance category as far as Jet center Kevin Mawae is concerned:

“I don’t think there is much heartache about Al leaving. For the most part, guys weren’t happy. It’s hard to play for a guy when you’re not happy.”

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Raider bashing: It seems that trashing the Raiders has become a popular pastime again among writers. This from Buddy Martin of the Charlotte (Fla.) Sun Herald:

“If the Cowboys were America’s team, the Raiders have been Netherworld’s team.

“Al Davis couldn’t join the Hell’s Angels, so he turned the football team into a local chapter.”

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More Raiders: Offensive tackle Lincoln Kennedy, on the raucous Oakland crowd that watched the Raiders defeat Miami Saturday: “I think they’d been resting their voices all week. They must have been home drinking lots of tea and honey.”

Tea and honey spiked with what, Lincoln?

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Quick thinking: Charlotte Hornet Coach Paul Silas put his own spin on giving an official a middle-finger salute: “I meant no disrespect. I just told him how many dependents he was allowed to claim.”

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He’ll have fun: Steve Rosenbloom in the Chicago Tribune: “Now that I think of it, the only good thing about the Giants potentially making the Super Bowl is two weeks of David Letterman saying ‘Tiki.’ ”

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Gruesome: Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg in the San Francisco Chronicle: “They’re going to make a movie, starring Denzel Washington, out of Tennessee’s 24-10 loss to the Baltimore Ravens. It will be called ‘Dismember the Titans.’ ”

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FYI: Mark McGwire has filed suit in St. Louis, asking a judge to stop distribution of phony $70 bills that feature his picture. It has something to do with home runs.

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Trivia answer: Joe Montana, 45, San Francisco-Kansas City, 23 games.

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Looking back: On this day in 1982, Montana threw a six-yard touchdown pass to Dwight Clark with 51 seconds left, giving the San Francisco 49ers a 28-27 victory over the Dallas Cowboys in the NFC title game.

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And finally: Sun Devil Stadium in Tempe, Ariz., has a computer that phonetically interprets public-address announcements and puts them on the JumboTron.

“It’s not a perfect system,” says Paola Boivin of the Arizona Republic, “considering those doughnut makers from ‘Crispy Korean’ were thanked, along with ‘Fry’s Food and Drunk Stores.’ ”