LAUGH LINES

For Adults Only: “Millions of people are watching ‘Temptation Island’ on Fox--or ‘The X-Rated Files,’ as some people call it.” (R.J. Johnson)

Wise Guys: “According to a study by a University of Minnesota professor, the most intelligent president we have ever had was Thomas Jefferson. . . . Others have concluded that just going by IQ, Bill Clinton could be the smartest president we’ve ever had. . . . But I think I’ve got to go with Thomas Jefferson. It took Thomas Jefferson 200 years to get caught fooling around. Clinton got caught that afternoon.” (Jay Leno)

The Last Show: “The Loews Cineplex chain of movie theaters has announced the closing of 675 of their facilities, mostly in the U.S. and Canada. . . . Company officials are blaming higher ticket prices, more home-video options--and just too many Adam Sandler movies.” (Ira Lawson)

Reality Bytes: “Bill Clinton is looking forward to advising many dot-com companies. . . . But Clinton is in for a disappointment. . . . These companies are on the Internet . . . [but] Clinton thought they said the Intern Net.” (Alex Kaseberg)

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