Dad Does the Talk, Tiger Does the Walk

Rick Morrissey of the Chicago Tribune, quoting Earl Woods in 1996: “ ‘Tiger will do more than any other man in history to change the course of humanity. He’s the Chosen One.’

“These are the things that make you ask: What, exactly, did we do wrong to be subjected to Earl Woods? . . . But let’s stop and consider that, besides the possibility of a head injury as a youth [unlikely] or an insatiable desire for the spotlight [more likely], there’s another explanation for Earl’s outspokenness:

“He realizes Tiger has the social conscience of a rock. Earl has created the perfect golfer, and now he would like his son the human being to catch up. Nothing wrong with that.”

*

Trivia time: Which three baseball Hall of Famers who played during the 1970s never spent a day in the minor leagues?

*

Helpful daughter: Barry Bonds’ closest confidants--father Bobby Bonds, godfather Willie Mays and Willie McCovey--reportedly won’t talk to him about his home-run assault for fear of jinxing him.

“It’s the loneliest thing I’ve ever gone through in my life,” Bonds said. “Nobody returns my phone calls. The only people who talk to me are my kids. My daughter [9-year-old Shikari] gives me home-run tips from her seat. She tells me to keep my hands high.”

*

Tough out: Jim Armstrong in the Denver Post: “My favorite Tony Gwynn stat, courtesy of ESPN’s Jayson Stark. He never has struck out in 162 at-bats against Pedro Martinez, Greg Maddux and Mike Hampton.”

*

Zoom! Betsy Hammon of the New York Liberty had this to say about her WNBA teammate Crystal Robinson: “Don’t you know about Crystal? She’s like a car. She’s either clutch or automatic.”

*

Relief at last: Mike Colangelo wasn’t getting enough playing time with the San Diego Padres, but now he’s an everyday player again with the triple-A Portland Beavers.

Hence, the headline in the Portland Oregonian: “Colangelo Welcomes Return to Regularity.”

*

No, not that: Comedy writer Alan Ray to the San Francisco Chronicle: “The new movie ‘Jurassic Park 3’ shows dinosaurs roaming the earth in modern day. The film gives a look at what it would be like if Charles Barkley came back to the NBA.”

*

More Ray: On the real reason the NBA drafted high school players: “At many hotels on the road, kids stay free.”

*

Looking back: On this day in 1957, Althea Gibson became the first black player to win a title at the All England tennis championships at Wimbledon by beating Darlene Hard, 6-3, 6-2, in the women’s singles final. Gibson won again in 1958.

*

Trivia answer: Ernie Banks, Catfish Hunter and Al Kaline.

*

And finally: New York Met Manager Bobby Valentine, on picking the National League All-Star team: “Picking the team doesn’t seem like much of a reward. I don’t think that anybody who will be going will say thank you and I’m sure there are other guys who aren’t going who will say something other to you.”