Forget the Bandwagon, They’re on Parade Route

Showtime has become Ko-Time. Back-to-Back has morphed into Baq-to-Baq. The Sky Hook has become the sky fell. The Memorial Day Massacre has become the Memorial Day Barbecue. Pat Riley’s guaranteed repeat has become “duh.” “Beat L.A.” is nothing more than the sounds of crickets chirping. Paula Abdul has become Vanessa Williams. Coooop has become Luuuuuue.

Through it all, some things remain the same: Jack is still Jack, Chick is still Chick, a very tall Laker still runs the fastbreak, and Dancing Barry is . . . whatever happened to Dancing Barry? Oh well, the torch has successfully been passed. With apologies to the once-formidable Eastern Conference, your quest for the title has been reduced to a scramble for free chalupas, which, these days, arrives about midway through the third quarter.

Craig P. Fagan

San Diego

*

Is there any truth to the rumor that Phil Jackson sabotaged the regular season so he could look like a hero in the playoffs?

George Pisano

Rancho Palos Verdes

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The schedule for the NBA finals is set:

June 6 at 6 p.m. at Staples Center--Game 1 tipoff.

June 6 at 6:15 p.m.--Chick Hearn puts the series in the refrigerator.

John Thompson

Chino

*

The greatest performance in the Laker-Spur series might have been Kobe’s 45 points in Game 1. On the other hand, it might have been the motivational play of the Lakers when Phil Jackson got kicked out of Game 2. Better yet, it might have been Shaq’s 35 points and 17 rebounds in Game 3 or Derek Fisher’s 28 points in Game 4.

I guess the greatest performance in the series is up for discussion. But there is no doubt that the greatest and most enjoyable moment of the entire series and year was the shot of a smiling Jerry West in Game 4 as he finally was able to not only watch but enjoy a Laker game.

Tim Hugo

Torrance

*

Shaq should be ashamed of himself for calling the San Antonio Spurs a “WNBA team.” He should immediately apologize . . . to the WNBA!

Ron Turner

Lancaster

*

The San Antonio Spurs need to see the Wizard for a heart, courage, and a brain--they already have found the fast way home.

Phil Therou

La Crescenta

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With the Lakers’ inevitable crowning for their second consecutive championship, they make that asterisk a little bigger for that 1999 Spur team.

Here’s the clue to what I’m talking about: The most recent champions were the ’87 and ’88 Lakers, ’89 and ’90 Pistons, ’91 through ’93 Bulls, ’94 and ’95 Rockets, ’96 through ’98 Bulls, ’99 Spurs, 2000 till whenever Lakers. If that’s not an asterisk, I don’t know what is.

Raymond Santiago

Granada Hills

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I think the winner of the Bucks-76ers series should have to play the Spurs first, to see if it is even necessary for the Lakers to play them. Why waste the floor time?

Viktoria King-Steele

Dana Point

*

Kobe Bryant finishing ninth in the MVP voting was ludicrous. Finishing behind Jason Kidd in the All-NBA first-team voting is just plain laughable, absurd and so outlandish one wonders just how much time and effort the voters’ kids spent filling in their ballots.

John Joseph

Marina del Rey

*

If NBC televised the Masters, Tiger Woods still would be playing the final round.

Howard Mationg

Gardena