Big Bird Fuels Idle Speculation

Conspiracy theorists will love this: A private jet belonging to Indianapolis Colt owner Jim Irsay was parked last weekend at Van Nuys Airport. The plane -- complete with horseshoe logo on the tail -- wasn’t tucked away in a hangar, but sitting out in the open for anyone to see.

I called the Colts to ask about this and talked to the vice president of media relations and Irsay’s secretary. They couldn’t -- or wouldn’t -- tell me why the plane was there, if Irsay had been in Los Angeles, or even if he’d attended last Sunday’s game against Tennessee at Nashville.

For more than a year, rumors have swirled that the Colts could be headed here if Indianapolis doesn’t pony up roughly $10 million a year to bolster franchise revenues. So Irsay’s Gulfstream at Van Nuys undoubtedly will set off some alarms. But I don’t believe it has anything to do with bringing pro football back to L.A.

I would, however, say to Irsay the same thing I’d say to a 400-pounder in thong: Tarp that tail section.

Five thoughts on the L.A. situation:

* The Colts are fading as an option. Other NFL owners don’t want Irsay here, and neither does the league. Remember, those owners have to approve any relocation. Irsay has too much baggage, including, as he admitted after an Indianapolis TV station broke the story, an addiction to prescription drugs. He has lost leverage in his own city -- he and Indianapolis Mayor Bart Peterson haven’t had any meaningful talks since the drug revelations -- and more credibility with the league. The way I hear it, if Irsay wants to sell all or part of his team, there are people in Indianapolis ready to write a check.

* The downtown stadium isn’t dead. Sure, Philip Anschutz is out of the football business and the South Park stadium coalition is kaput. But the notion of a downtown stadium that is for the most part privately financed is too enticing to lay to rest. I can see Casey Wasserman bringing it back to life.

* Don’t count out the Coliseum. Love it or hate it, you just can’t kill it. City and county politicians wouldn’t stand in the way of renovation -- provided there were ways to pay for it without using tax dollars -- and the league would eventually warm to the idea. No place could pull off the project quicker. That said, the Coliseum has to overcome more than its share of problems.

* The Rose Bowl is the flavor of the month. John Moag, who helped the Cleveland Browns move to Baltimore, is trying to bring a team to the Rose Bowl. He’s getting a good response around Pasadena too, when he talks about a $400-million renovation that won’t cost taxpayers a dime, won’t upset historical preservationists, environmentalists, people who live in the Arroyo Seco, or the Tournament of Roses committee, well, what’s not to like? It all sounds good now, but this is the easy part. Wait until an actual plan is on the table.

* The Chargers soon will trigger the escape clause in their lease. The way the Chargers see it, they’ve given San Diego every opportunity to explore a stadium solution and city officials are dragging their feet. Charger President Dean Spanos was in New York on Friday, meeting with league officials, and my guess is, they were discussing the next step. Why wait until the Super Bowl to trigger? The Chargers won’t.

It’s the Parity Way

With the league as balanced as it has ever been, the playoff picture has yet to come into focus -- especially in the AFC. The Raiders on Sunday could become the first AFC team to clinch a postseason berth, provided they beat Miami and Denver ties Kansas City, or Denver loses and San Diego ties or loses at Buffalo.

In the NFC, the 49ers and Packers have won in their respective divisions, and the four other playoff spots could be filled Sunday. Philadelphia can clinch its second consecutive division title by beating or tying Washington, or if the Giants lose or tie Dallas. Three teams from the NFC South could be headed for the playoffs. Here’s what those teams need:

* The Buccaneers get in if they beat or tie Detroit, or the Giants lose or tie.

* The Saints get in if they beat Minnesota -- and the Giants lose or tie, or the Eagles win or tie. If the Saints tie, they need a Giant loss.

* The Falcons get in if they beat Seattle, and the Giants lose or tie. If the Falcons tie, they also need a loss by the Giants.

Sliding, Sliding

Tommy Maddox, who came out of nowhere for the Pittsburgh Steelers, is slowly slipping back to nowhere. He has not won since Nov. 3 and is 0-2-1 in his last three starts. He has thrown one touchdown pass and five interceptions in his last two starts, and he had low passer ratings in both those games, 44.9 at Tennessee and 55.1 against Houston.

Maddox, a former UCLA standout, hasn’t been the same since he was knocked out Nov. 17 in a game against Tennessee and was sidelined for two weeks. In a stunning loss to Houston last Sunday, Maddox contributed to three Texan touchdowns. Two of his passes were intercepted and returned for scores, and he fumbled -- without being hit -- and that too was run back.

Sunday, Maddox will look to get back on track against Carolina, led by former USC quarterback Rodney Peete. The Steelers aren’t going to keep Kordell Stewart under the terms of his current contract, and they want Maddox to be their answer. That prompts a question:

Will Maddox be the toast of the town, or just toast?

Around the League

AFC East -- The Buffalo Bills are on the brink of playoff elimination, and players will be groping for motivation, once that flame goes out. “I can imagine what an attorney must feel like when all the evidence is stacked against his client,” fullback Larry Centers said. “Or what a surgeon is feeling when everyone else is saying his patient doesn’t have a chance.”

History will be made Sunday in Miami when the Raiders play the Dolphins. The game features the only three receivers with 1,000 catches -- Oakland’s Jerry Rice and Tim Brown, and Miami’s Cris Carter. “It’s going to be a unique time,” Carter said. “Of course, it has never happened before and probably will never happen again.... I have a tremendous amount of respect for both of those guys as receivers and people. What Jerry is doing at the end of his career is truly phenomenal. Tim has had a great career. I came out of school early and came in the league one year earlier than [Brown]. Our careers have mirrored each other for a long, long time.”

AFC North -- Cincinnati Coach Dick LeBeau is a nice guy, a stand-up guy, but he probably won’t be around much longer. Since starting last season 4-3, his team has lost 19 of 22. LeBeau’s .262 winning percentage is worse than David Shula’s .268. The bigger problem is Bengal President Mike Brown, who steadfastly refuses to hire a capable personnel director. Since Brown took over for his father Paul Brown after the 1991 season, the Bengals are 54-135.

Butch Davis has coached the Browns in 29 games, seven of which have turned on the final play. Sixteen of those 29 games were decided in the final minute.

The Ravens, in their loss to New Orleans last Sunday, had seven dropped passes, three lost fumbles, two intercepted passes, two punts blocked ... and a partridge in a pear tree.

AFC South -- Houston rookie David Carr is approaching an NFL record. for most times sacked. Carr has been sacked 68 times, five shy of the league record set by Randall Cunningham in 1986. With three games to play -- against Baltimore, Jacksonville and Tennessee -- Carr and the record are destined to fall.

Indianapolis receiver Marvin Harrison, the only NFL player to have four consecutive seasons with 100 or more receptions, has 118 in 2002, six away from breaking Herman Moore’s single-season NFL record. That’s what makes it so surprising that Harrison dropped a sure touchdown pass in a loss to Tennessee. “A fourth-grader could have made that play,” he said. The Colts have forced 31 fumbles, yet recovered only 13.

AFC West -- San Diego’s LaDainian Tomlinson will play Sunday against a Buffalo defense that has yielded running backs six 100-yard games this season. The Bills have surrendered an average of 138.7 yards a game, second only to Seattle at 168.2. But the NFL’s worst run defense of all time belonged to the 1978 Bills, who gave up a staggering average of 201.8 yards.

Charger Coach Marty Schottenheimer had some fun with Buffalo writers on a conference call this week, playfully telling them he might use backup quarterback Doug Flutie as a wideout for a few plays. “It depends on the circumstances,” Schottenheimer said. “We’ve been going through the last couple of games with only three wide receivers, so we had to look to somebody, and he knows all the routes. We’ll have to wait and see. He wants to run go routes. But I don’t know if we’ll let him do that.” Joked Buffalo Coach Gregg Williams: “Maybe he thinks he has a height advantage over [5-9 cornerback] Antoine Winfield.”

Denver tight end Shannon

Sharpe on the Broncos, who have lost their last three games by a total of 12 points: “We’re a good football team, but we’re not good when we have to be. On third down, we need to be good, we’re not. Fourth quarter to put a team away, we’re not. Overtime, we’re not. We’re a good football team, we’re just not good when we need to be.”

NFC East -- All the evidence Jerry Jones needs to make a coaching change in Dallas: In seven of their eight losses, the Cowboys have led or been tied in the fourth quarter. Five of those losses were decided by the opposing team’s final drive. Dallas has not made the playoffs since 1999 and has not won a postseason game since 1996.

The Redskins are relying less and less on running back Stephen Davis, who had a team-record 356 carries last season but is well off that pace this season with 205. “I get frustrated, but as far as anger and blowing up at people, that’s not me,” said Davis, who had 12 carries in a loss to the Giants last Sunday, his fewest in more than three years. “[But] it’s hard. I’ve been here seven years. Just to see something like this could happen hurts me to my heart.” Then again, Davis’ $11.4-million salary-cap figure for 2003 hurts the Redskins to their wallet. And, in this case, the wallet will win.

NFC North -- By his comments on a radio show this week, you might think Detroit’s Joey Harrington had taken one too many shots to the head. But the rookie quarterback said he wouldn’t mind getting

“ear-holed” by Tampa Bay’s Warren Sapp on Sunday. “I said it to get a rise,” Harrington told reporters with a laugh. “I saw one of his interviews. He said, ‘Brett Favre earned my respect because I kept hitting him and he kept getting up.’ ... I’m going to get hit. I’m going to get up too.

That’s what I was getting at. Not necessarily a jaw shot. Maybe a thigh or square in the chest, where I can glance the blow a little.” As we now know, Sapp will take that shot -- cheaply or not.

Chicago’s Marty Booker leads the league in receptions of 20 yards or longer with 20 of them. That’s really surprising, considering the team’s nickel-and-dime passing philosophy. New Orleans receiver Joe Horn has 18 such receptions, and tied with 17 are Isaac Bruce of St. Louis and Amani Toomer of the Giants.

NFC South -- New Orleans running back Deuce McAllister is quiet and easygoing. But he wasn’t so relaxed after hearing former Saint Ricky Williams say on “Monday Night Football” that one of his goals with Miami this season was to out-rush McAllister. “That was a personal jab,” McAllister said. “I haven’t taken any jabs or shots at him in the media. It’s a step back for me. It’s a battle between me and he now. He’s taking a jab at me on a national stage, ‘Monday Night Football.’ It wasn’t like he just called me up on the phone and was kidding. It was personal. It was like he called me out.”

NFC West -- San Francisco receiver Terrell Owens didn’t dance on the Texas Stadium star last Sunday, even though he caught two touchdown passes, one the game-winner with 12 seconds to play. “Coming into the stadium, I saw all the Sharpie signs, and in the huddle I looked up at the Jumbotron and saw all the little skits,” he said. “I thought it was really cute. I was laughing at it. I was like, ‘We’re going to get the last laugh some kind of way.’ And we did. We got the win.” Well, he didn’t get the very last laugh. He left the locker room wearing a Cowboy-blue leather suit that had to elicit some chuckles.

I think Jim Mora, the 49er defensive coordinator and son of the longtime NFL coach of the same name, would excel as a college head coach. Why? Not only does he know Xs and O’s, but he would be an outstanding recruiter. He’s 41, but looks closer to 25, and he’s better than most coaches at connecting with young players.

Seattle linebacker Chad Brown leads the Seahawks with six sacks, but he hasn’t played since Nov. 3. Defensive tackle Rocky Bernard is second on the team with four sacks, yet he hasn’t gotten one since September. Seahawk defensive ends have combined for four sacks in 13 games. The opposing quarterback this week is, let’s see ... Michael Vick.

Uh-oh.