A night of song and dance honors Kennedy Center’s all-star lineup

Years ago, an excited Paul Simon called Steve Martin to tell him he had just finished writing a song called “47 Ways to Leave Your Lover.” Martin suggested “50 Ways” would have a better ring, but Simon said he couldn’t think of any more.

“What about ‘Make a new plan, Stan, don’t need to be coy, Roy, drop off the key, Lee’?”

At least that’s how a deadpan Martin remembers it.

Good humor and great talent are on display tonight in “The 25th Annual the Kennedy Center Honors: A Celebration of the Performing Arts” (9 p.m., CBS), a glittery salute to Simon, Elizabeth Taylor, James Earl Jones, Chita Rivera and conductor James Levine.

The night starts on an uneven note, with a frustratingly short reel of Taylor clips in movies including “A Place in the Sun” and “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” followed by a musical number, Stephen Sondheim’s “Not Getting Married.” It must have seemed like an amusing choice to honor the oft-wedded diva, but it probably works better in context.

Sidney Poitier and other actors offer an emotional tribute to Jones, the shy country boy who grew up to become a commanding stage and screen presence.

Poitier concludes with a quote from Jones: “I’m not big and strong to myself, so I like to play characters who reveal their conflicts and vulnerabilities. I don’t have to find the answers but to explore the mystery that lives inside each one of us.”

A song-and-dance medley honoring Rivera glides from the lively “West Side Story” number “Dance at the Gym” featuring Charlotte d’Amboise, to the title track from “Kiss of the Spider Woman” sung by Donna Murphy, to Valarie Pettiford’s sultry “All That Jazz” from “Chicago.”

Placido Domingo, who has done 300 operas with Levine, remembers the first, when he was told that conducting “Tosca” would be the young maestro “Laveenay.” Levine turned out to be a kid from Cincinnati, not an Italian -- but that didn’t keep him from later leading New York’s Metropolitan Opera to new heights.

The Simon tribute features Alicia Keys singing the wistful “Bridge Over Troubled Water” and James Taylor teaming with Alison Krauss on “The Boxer.”

For the finale, a chorus of stars joins in on the blissful “Loves Me Like a Rock.” Even President Bush, watching from the balcony, is clapping his hands and tapping his feet.