T.J. Out of Bounds?

Last week your muckraking Page 2 columnist was wandering around Riviera with a note pad and pencil asking everyone in sight, “Why would you attend a golf tournament when Tiger Woods isn’t playing?” The results of that survey produced a column that was insipid even by T.J. Simers’ low standards.

Apparently some 45,872 golf fans who showed up Sunday at Riviera failed to read the scribe’s pathetic drivel and saw an excellent golf tournament despite the absence of the Tiger. My suggestion would be to put T.J. on special assignment and have him interview each of these 45,872 fans and ask them the same question he proffered last week. Maybe that will keep him busy and off Page 2 for a while.

Doug Hays

Glendale

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Dear Mr. Dwyre,

I need your help. Please tell Mr. Simers to stay off my Web site. I’ve sent him the autographed picture he requested (27 times!). And please tell him that I cannot host that show he does on Sunday nights, no matter how abysmal his ratings are. Tell him to stop asking!

Mr. Dwyre, encourage him to keep doing what he does best--”real” sports journalism, covering such hard-hitting topics as Salma Hayek, the grocery bagger and Phil and Jeanie’s hot tub escapades.

Thanks for your help.

Lisa Guerrero

Foxsports.com