Celtics, Nets Will Have to Give It Old College Try

Norman Chad on America Online: “I don’t wish to offend all my friends and relatives in Boston and New Jersey--two of my favorite towns, by the way--but the Celtics-Nets series is essentially the NIT final and the Kings-Lakers series is essentially the NCAA Tournament final.

“Inexplicably, the two winners will meet.”

More Chad: “Sacramento has to stop playing the part of this overlooked, pouting small metropolis with an inferiority complex.

“That attitude carries over to the court--just look at Chris Webber’s anguished face every time he’s whistled for a foul.”

Trivia time: In what city did Shawn Green hit his first major league home run?

Falling Leaf: Les Carpenter of the Seattle Times, on the Seahawks’ signing of Ryan Leaf: “Why must [Coach/General Manager Mike] Holmgren treat his team like a halfway house for wayward quarterbacks?

“The Seahawks needed a third-string quarterback with a penchant for interceptions as much as they needed a dancing hippopotamus.”

Old school: Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle: “The NFL is cracking down on ephedra supplements, thus depriving players of their favorite picker-upper. Now what will guys do? I predict a run on Knute Rockne motivational tapes.”

Windbag with a golf bag: Charles Barkley’s chances of winning the American Celebrity Golf Championship July 16-21 at Edgewood Tahoe were posted at 999-to-1 at Caesars Tahoe.

“Anybody who wants to bet on Charles, I’ll take ‘em up,” says NBC commentator Tom Tolbert.

Snooze bar: Chicago Bull General Manager Jerry Krause, when asked what’s it’s like to attend the NBA draft lottery year after year: “Now the trick is to get out of here and not be here next year. That’s all you think about as you sit here.”

Rub-a-dub-dub: Attention, journalists! South Korean masseurs are offering their services free to reporters covering soccer’s World Cup finals next month in Seoul.

Familiar: Mike Bianchi in the Orlando Sentinel: “‘Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones’ has everything: battle scenes, violent collisions and big, hairy monsters fighting to the death. In other words, it’s just like the Stanley Cup playoffs.”

Looking back: On this day in 1935, Jesse Owens of Ohio State set three world records, in the 220 yards, 220 low hurdles and long jump, and tied the 100-yard record in the Big Ten meet at Ann Arbor, Mich.

Trivia answer: In Milwaukee in 1995, when he played for the Toronto Blue Jays. Thursday in Milwaukee he became the 14th major leaguer to hit four home runs in one game.

And finally: Tim Cowlishaw of the Dallas Morning News, on controversial Maverick owner Mark Cuban: “Somehow, Cuban has always believed he should be treated differently. He tolerates virtually no criticism, even when he says things like he’s signing Dennis Rodman to teach his team how to win, when he offers the world’s largest basketball coaching staff in-game suggestions, when he blasts officials or the commissioner ad nauseam.”