Trojans Are Guaranteed to Think Highly of Selves

Let’s face it, USC figures to steamroller the Bruins on Saturday in the Rose Bowl.

The smart money in Las Vegas went down early on the Trojans, and now the Bruins are getting four points instead of three in the hopes the suckers will take UCLA. The Trojans are obviously the better team, and everyone has known that since the start of the season.

The Bruins, who were picked to finish no better than sixth in the Pacific 10 Conference with Cory Paus at quarterback, now have a pair of freshmen alternating at the position, while the Trojans have this fifth-year guy who is getting Heisman Trophy consideration. (I would think you’d want to spend no more than four years at USC and get out of there as soon as possible, but that’s just me.)

The Trojans are ranked No. 7 in the whole country, whipped the Bruins, 27-0, last year and have the great Pete Carroll as coach.

The Bruins have Bob Toledo.

*

THE ONLY thing that USC has yet to determine, of course, is the final score. I would imagine the Trojans have something lopsided in mind again.

We already know they have chalked up the next two games against UCLA and Notre Dame as victories. Earlier this week they sent two associate athletic directors -- one to watch the other on the school’s expense account, I guess -- to talk with officials at the Sugar Bowl in New Orleans and the Orange Bowl in Miami about which is the better BCS opportunity.

There’s no way USC would authorize the expenditure for such a New Orleans/Miami junket without the guarantee the team is going to finish 10-2.

I recall the Pittsburgh Steelers doing a similar thing in the 1994 season, recording a Super Bowl rap video and then being upset by the Chargers in the AFC title game after San Diego took offense to being written off prematurely. Jacksonville ran into the same problem, doing a Super Bowl rap and then not making it to the big game in the 1999 season after Tennessee upset the Jaguars.

But that’s professional football, the Super Bowl and rap videos, and this is different because USC already knows it’s going to defeat UCLA, and everyone knows that Notre Dame is the most overrated team in the nation with only one loss. So the only thing up in the air at this time is which is it going to be: New Year’s in New Orleans or Miami?

*

I’M SURE you had to be there, but Carroll’s idea of asking an assistant equipment manager to confront someone atop a parking structure, appear to hit him and then throw a body over the wall in an attempt to fool Trojan football players into thinking a UCLA spy had been caught and destroyed is not funny. I’ve received some e-mail from some crazed Trojan fans, who are probably wondering right now why a dummy had to be used instead of a real person (sportswriter).

*

THE LAKERS have a savior in Shaquille O’Neal, who is expected to right all that is wrong with the defending champions when he returns Friday.

The Clippers, meanwhile, as Coach Alvin Gentry said Wednesday night, “are on our own” when it comes to overcoming a shaky start.

“I think the start of the season has been a big disappointment for the players and the coaches as well,” Gentry said, which is not good, because he is in the final year of his contract and if the season remains a big disappointment, it’s probably all going to fall on him.

Now I happen to be a huge fan of Gentry, which obviously dooms the poor guy and certainly hurts his standing with USC fans, but his work in putting the Clippers back on the front page with local fans has been extraordinary. (The guy has Michael Olowokandi averaging more than 16 points in his last 34 games, which certifies him a miracle worker.)

In fact he’s probably to blame for the raised expectations that threaten now to make him former coach of the Clippers if misfortune continues to plague this team’s roster. The Lakers have been unable to cope with the loss of Shaq for the last 12 games, while Gentry has been working without Lamar Odom now for the last 65 games.

Training camp mishaps to Elton Brand, Olowokandi and Quentin Richardson also ruined his chances of starting strong this season, and now the battle to impress and survive is going to be that much tougher.

“Obviously I’m concerned ... but I’m not going to change the way I coach the team,” Gentry said of his future. “The absolute worst thing to do would be to coach out of desperation.”

I guess that makes him different from most of the Clipper coaches who have preceded him. I hope he stays around, which really makes him different from all those guys who have preceded him.

*

WERE YOU as relieved as I was to hear the WNBA All-Star game will be played all the way on the other side of this country next season?

*

JUST HOW bad a kicker is the 49ers’ Jeff Chandler, the team’s fourth-round pick from Florida? To date he has been unable to beat out Jose Cortez, and although he will kick in Cortez’s place Monday night, the 49ers are still hanging on to Cortez just in case.

*

WORD IS the women’s tennis tournament that had been in Manhattan Beach and the MLS championship game are moving to Carson, joining the Chargers, who will be conducting training camp there.

I guess that officially makes Carson a dump site.

*

TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from N. Griffin:

“You’re smug, condescending, brash, self-absorbed and a real jerk. Let me guess, you’re a guy in his late 20s just trying to make a name for himself....”

You nailed it.

*

T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.