WEEK 5 BREAKDOWN

NEW YORK GIANTS at DALLAS

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

TV: Channel 11.

The line: Pick.

Quick slant: Three yards and a cloud of must.

Plot: Remember the Giants’ between-the-tackles, control-the-football running game? Remember Emmitt Smith? Long-gone days. It has made for painful viewing, especially if you’ve been watching Smith’s Bearcrawl to History, also known as his (prolonged) pursuit of Walter Payton’s rushing record. Smith is taking it one excruciating footstep at a time, averaging 59 yards a game, still 304 shy. At his current pace, Smith won’t get there until mid-November. Quick quiz: Which happens first, Smith breaks the record or Jim Fassel lets Kerry Collins throw another sideline pass just before halftime?

Monday’s headline: “Emmitt, 3-2 Cowboys Agree: It’s a Game of Inches”

*

OAKLAND at BUFFALO

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

TV: Channel 2.

The line: Oakland by 3.

Quick slant: Not Washed Up After All Bowl.

Plot: Preseason scouting report on this one: Why bother? Raiders were too old, Jon Gruden was gone, Rich Gannon can’t keep it up, Jerry Rice can’t keep up--warning: backslide ahead. Bills were 3-13 in 2001, Drew Bledsoe couldn’t keep his job in New England, Bills can’t protect Bledsoe--AFC East basement, here they come. One month later, we are older and so much wiser, equipped with calculator to keep track of the footballs flying over Buffalo, aggregate passing yards, points and total minutes played (Buffalo played three overtime games in September, a league record). Old-time AFL football!

Monday’s headline: “Bills Defeat Raiders When Pigskins Fly”

*

TAMPA BAY at ATLANTA

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Tampa Bay by 1.

Quick slant: Slapped in face, Warrick Dunn prepares to slap back.

Plot: Tampa Bay Coach Jon Gruden calls it the harsh reality of salary-cap economics. Warrick Dunn calls it a slap in the face. Either way, Dunn no longer plays for Tampa Bay, which is averaging only 77.5 yards rushing per game without the diminutive running back. With him, Atlanta is averaging nearly twice as many: 148.3. As the first bitter reunion nears, Dunn told the Tampa Tribune, “They should have kept me. When I made a decision, it was easy because they didn’t come close. It hurt.... I’ll go on national TV and say this was a slap in the face.” Dunn. Gruden. It could get intense.

Monday’s headline: “Bucs Become Un-Dunn in Dome”

*

WASHINGTON at TENNESSEE

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Tennessee by 5.

Quick slant: Are you sitting down? Spurrier just benched his quarterback.

Plot: At least Shane Matthews and Danny Wuerffel knew what they were getting into. They played for Steve Spurrier at the University of Florida, so they know the drill--which is to say that quarterbacks in Spurrier’s system are as disposable as sideline Gatorade cups. Recyclable too. Matthews started Spurrier’s Redskin debut, won the game and was named NFC offensive player of the week. Then he didn’t start the next week. Or the week after that. Given two weeks to think about it, Spurrier has decided to go with either Wuerffel or rookie Patrick Ramsey. Byes are dangerous when you play for Spurrier.

Monday’s headline: “Titans Do It Old-Fashioned Way, With One Quarterback”

*

CINCINNATI at INDIANAPOLIS

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Indianapolis by 13.

Quick slant: Kitna demands an end to Bengals’ revolving door at quarterback. That’ll teach him.

Plot: Jon Kitna wasn’t necessarily talking about himself when he said Bengal Coach Dick LeBeau needed to pick one quarterback and stick with him, charging that LeBeau had “created a monster” with his Dial-An-Interception quarterback shuttle system. In fact, Kitna even suggested Akili Smith be given the job for the rest of the season. LeBeau wouldn’t go that far, however, and he does read the newspapers. So that will be Kitna and his big mouth lining up over center against the Colts, who need a win badly.

Monday’s headline: “Kitna Sacked 9 Times in Colt Rout; Smith, Frerotte Don’t Say a Word”

*

NEW ENGLAND at MIAMI

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Miami by 3.

Quick slant: Repeat after us: Last week never happened.

Plot: What happens when two undefeated AFC East rivals get caught looking ahead at the same time? San Diego 21, New England 14. And Kansas City 48, Miami 30. At least the pressure’s off. So too is much of the luster, with both defensive coordinators suddenly staring at game film and shaking their heads in stunned silence. What happened to the Dolphins’ pass defense? Five touchdown passes by Trent Green? What happened to the Patriots’ run defense? LaDainian Tomlinson plows through for 217 yards? What happens when Tom Brady and Ricky Williams are turned loose on the same field?

Monday’s headline: “Patriots Win on Blocked Field Goal; Stuff Happens”

*

PITTSBURGH at NEW ORLEANS

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: New Orleans by 3.

Quick slant: The Xtreme lives!

Plot: Kordell Stewart, who ended the 2001 season only a few votes removed from the league most-valuable-player award, begins the fifth week of the 2002 season one XFL veteran removed from the starting lineup. Tommy Maddox, ex-XFLer, pride of the erstwhile L.A. Xtreme, replaces Stewart as the Steelers’ quarterback because the Steelers can’t run the ball anymore. That’s not necessarily Stewart’s fault, although Stewart did have something to do with the 15 interceptions he has thrown in Pittsburgh’s last 15 games. Stewart’s take on Steeler Coach Bill Cowher right about now: He Hate Me.

Monday’s headline: “Maddox: They Intercept Me”

*

ARIZONA at CAROLINA

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Carolina by 3.

Quick slant: Come back, Shayne!

Plot: Somewhat amazingly, Shayne Graham will be back to kick field goals and extra points for the Panthers, one week after missing a field goal not much longer than an extra point in the final seconds of a 17-14 loss at Green Bay. For the record, Graham was wide from 24 yards, dropping the Panthers to 3-1 and leaving Carolina Coach John Fox doubled over on the sideline, apparently in severe stomach pain or looking for a lost contact lens. Meanwhile, Arizona’s Bill Gramatica wonders if he’ll have anything to kick at all, with first- and second-string running backs Thomas Jones and Marcel Shipp both hurt.

Monday’s headline: “Panthers Kick a Bad Team When They’re Down”

*

KANSAS CITY at NEW YORK JETS

Kickoff: Sunday, 1 p.m.

The line: Kansas City by 3.

Quick slant: From Joe Willie to Vinny to Chad.

Plot: Mired in their worst offensive slump since they were known as the New York Titans, the Jets (outscored, 102-13, in their last three games) have decided they need someone other than Vinny Testaverde at quarterback. They quickly ruled out punter Matt Turk, having been unimpressed by his panicked two-handed chest pass to Jacksonville’s Donovan Darius last Sunday. That leaves Chad Pennington, long presumed to be the Jets’ future, at least until they draft someone else. Pennington picked a bad spot for his first NFL start. Kansas City beat Miami by 18 a week after Miami beat the Jets by 27.

Monday’s headline: “Holmes, Green Gang Up on Gang Green”

*

PHILADELPHIA at JACKSONVILLE

Kickoff: Sunday, 1:15 p.m.

The line: Philadelphia by 3.

Quick slant: Analyze this.

Plot: The Jaguars are off to a surprising 2-1 start and Coach Tom Coughlin, somewhat less miserable these days, has attributed some of the success to the two sports psychologists who have been working with the team. (Yes, guys who play for Tom Coughlin are now in therapy. Supply your own punch lines.) Here’s something to haunt Jacksonville dreams: The Eagles are averaging 35 points a game, have beaten their last three opponents by an average of 26.3 points and are looking as if they can hold up their end in all those preseason predictions of an all-Pennsylvania Super Bowl. Shame about Pittsburgh.

Monday’s headline: “Doc: Jags Might Need Years to Recover From This”

*

ST. LOUIS at SAN FRANCISCO

Kickoff: Sunday, 1:15 p.m.

TV: Channel 11.

The line: San Francisco by 7.

Quick slant: The streak ends here.

Plot: San Francisco is 0-6 against St. Louis since 1998 and the thumbnail reason why: Jeff Garcia couldn’t match Kurt Warner touchdown pass for touchdown pass. That part of the equation became moot last Sunday when Warner broke the little finger on his throwing hand. Now the matchup is Garcia against Jamie Martin, career backup about to make his second NFL start amid somewhat stressful circumstances. The 49ers are at home, the Rams are 0-4, the 49ers have been waiting for this day for years. Never fails in this league: What goes around always comes around. Possible exception: Cincinnati.

Monday’s headline: “49ers 0-6 No More Against 0-5 Rams”

* SAN DIEGO at DENVER

Kickoff: Sunday, 1 p.m.

The line: Denver by 5.

Quick slant: The wild, wild card West.

Plot: There are no more breathers in the AFC West, now that Seattle has bailed and Marty Schottenheimer is gradually thawing hardened hearts in San Diego, where the once-hated chief Chief is now 4-0 with the no-longer-slumbering Chargers. It’s only the first Sunday in October, but this Charger-Bronco clash has playoff implications, as they say, the winner getting a leg up in the wild-card race (assuming mandatory retirement age doesn’t gut the Raider roster before Christmas). For Denver, that’s a key issue: Brian Griese getting his leg up and over his pet dog and not tripping again before kickoff.

Monday’s headline: “Broncos Trip Up Chargers in AFC West Dogfight”

*

BALTIMORE at CLEVELAND

Kickoff: Sunday, 5:30 p.m.

TV: ESPN.

The line: Cleveland by 6 1/2.

Quick slant: Art Modell for the Hall of Fame? Can we have a shout from the Dawg Pound?

Plot: Canton is not too far from Cleveland, but Baltimore is. Can Modell, among this year’s 14 nominees for the Hall of Fame, get there from here? Raven Coach Brian Billick thinks so and has been stumping for his candidacy: “Let the right thing happen.” Billick would say that. Modell was smart enough to hire Billick before the 1999 season; why shouldn’t they start clearing space for a bust next to George Halas? Cleveland residents can probably give Billick a dissenting opinion or two. And 73,300 of them most likely will.

Monday’s headline: “Browns’ Victory Over Ravens a Work of Art”

*

GREEN BAY at CHICAGO

Kickoff: Monday, 6 p.m.

TV: Channel 7.

The line: Chicago by 1.

Quick slant: Are you ready for a new America’s Team?

Plot: According to a new Harris Poll, the Packers have replaced the Cowboys as America’s favorite NFL team, indicating a) Brett Favre is popular in fantasy football leagues; b) Cheeseheads might have been stuffing the ballot box; and/or c) Jerry Jones was right about the drag effect Quincy Carter was having on his team. How this translates into Nielsen ratings, ABC is about to find out. Meanwhile, the Bears have lost their last two games, along with four defensive starters, prompting Harris to cancel its upcoming poll: Who is America’s Fluke?

Tuesday’s headline: “Packers Win Game and Popularity Contest”