Getting Up This Early Will Make You Grunt

Jon Gruden’s new nickname at Tampa Bay is “311.”

It’s a reference to the new time he awakes each morning, six minutes earlier than he used to set his alarm when coaching the Oakland Raiders.

Gruden says he continues to be an earlier riser because he doesn’t consider himself as smart as other coaches.

“Those guys deserve to be called geniuses. I’m just a grunt, know what I mean? I’m just trying to get another four or five plays into the script, as you can see I wouldn’t be getting up this early if I was a genius, man.”

Your modesty is touching, Jon.

Trivia time: Who was the first UCLA player to play in the Super Bowl?

Three Point University: In its 25-23 victory over Michigan on Saturday, Notre Dame (3-0) scored its first offensive touchdown of the season. Touchdowns were so hard to come by--at least by the offense--that Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginia-Pilot said: “The Irish may have to erect a statue of Field Goal Jesus.”

Coach’s quips: A wisecrack from Abe Lemons, the late quotable college basketball coach: “What do you call a coach who finishes last in his conference? A loser. What do you call a student who finishes last in medical school? A doctor.”

Back to earth: Cleveland Brown defensive end Kenard Lang, a 280-pounder, returned an interception 71 yards to set up a pivotal touchdown in a 20-7 victory over Cincinnati.

“I saw the end zone and at first ... I felt like Carl Lewis,” Lang said. “Then I felt like the Pillsbury Doughboy.”

Big spenders: From the New York Post: “Yankees David Wells, Jason Giambi, Rondell White and Shane Spencer ran up a $1,900 food bill at Tao, and left an $800 tip.”

A new look: California was 1-10 last season, but receiver LaShaun Ward got the first hint his life was about to change in the spring when new Coach Jeff Tedford called him into his office and asked for some fashion advice.

“He said, ‘We’re thinking about changing the uniforms. You got any suggestions?’ ” Ward recalled. “I didn’t know what to say. I started making a sketch. The coaches we used to have never would have asked us about something like that.”

The Golden Bears are 3-0 for the first time since 1996.

Looking back: On this day in 1954, UCLA opened the season with a 67-0 rout of the San Diego Naval Training Center. The Bruins had a 9-0 record that season and won their only football national championship.

Looking back again: On this day in 1976, USC routed Oregon, 53-0, at Eugene. The Trojans had a 10-1 record and defeated Michigan, 14-6, in the Rose Bowl game.

Trivia answer: Linebacker Don Shinnick with the Baltimore Colts in 1969.

And finally: Rodney Peete, the former USC quarterback, who is 36 and didn’t throw a pass while with the Oakland Raiders the last two seasons, to the Detroit Free Press after passing for 310 yards in the Carolina Panthers’ victory over the Lions: “I thought I was coming down here to hold the clipboards, help the young guys. But it’s like ‘The Godfather.’ Every time I try to get out, they pull me back in.”