WEEK 3 CAPSULES

NEW YORK JETS AT MIAMI

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Miami by 6

Quick slant: All absolutely logic-defying and inexplicably amazing things must come to an end some time.

Plot: With apologies to the 2-0 Panthers and the 0-2 Rams, this week’s most mind-fogging NFL stat belongs to the Jets (and the Dolphins are sick and tired of reading it/hearing it/being asked after every practice about it): The Jets are 8-0 against the Dolphins since 1997. Despite the fact Miami has made the playoffs every season since 1997. To put it another way, the last time the Dolphins beat the Jets, Jimmy Johnson and Bill Parcells were matching wits on the sidelines instead of quips on dueling pregame shows, Dan Marino was quarterbacking the Dolphins and Neil O’Donnell was, well, Neil O’Donnell.

Monday’s headline: “Eight Is Enough”

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CLEVELAND AT TENNESSEE

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Tennessee by 4

Quick slant: Eddie George looks to get healthy.

Plot: George has carried the load for the Titans for so long, they were still in Houston and he still had the knees of a young man when he began. That was 1996, this is now. George turns 29 on Tuesday, two days after his consecutive-starts streak is expected to hit 97. But clearly all is not well with George, who is averaging 2.9 yards a carry this season and labored painfully in a 21-13 upset loss to Dallas. He badly needs a weekend off, but, failing that, he gets the Browns, who rank 31st against the run and have yielded 120 or more rushing yards in their last six games--150 or more in the last five.

Monday’s headline: “What’s Brown and White and Gets Run All Over?”

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NEW ORLEANS AT CHICAGO

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Chicago by 1

Quick slant: Mike Ditka Memorial Classic.

Plot: Ditka coached both of these teams, to wildly different conclusions. With the Bears, he wound up in the Super Bowl. With the Saints, he mortgaged the franchise’s future for a running back who now plays for Miami, then went 15-33 in three seasons. Now completely Ditka-less, both teams are on the rebound--the Bears 2-0 after winning by three points and one point, just like last year, and the Saints a surprising 2-0 to open the post-Ricky Williams era. Both of the Saints’ victories have been against 2001 NFC playoff teams, Tampa Bay and Green Bay. A win over the Bears in Champaign would be another.

Monday’s headline: “Hold the Champaign, It’s Hurricanes All Around”

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DALLAS AT PHILADELPHIA

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

TV: Channel 11

The line: Philadelphia by 9

Quick slant: Quincy Carter won a game last Sunday. Let’s see him do it again.

Plot: The Cowboys are 0-4 against the Eagles since 1999, having been outscored, 133-48. In those games, the Eagle defense has forced 13 turnovers. Into this breach is thrown young quarterback Carter, who missed both Eagle games last season and had lunch this week with team owner Jerry Jones. Rumor has it Jones requested the sit-down to counsel Carter on his recent dealings with the Dallas media, which have been hostile. Carter will learn soon enough: Against the Eagles, the postgame stuff is usually the highlight.

Monday’s headline: “How Do We Put This Nicely? Eagles Intercept Carter Five Times”

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INDIANAPOLIS AT HOUSTON

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Indianapolis by 12

Quick slant: Learning curve bound to quicken for someone here.

Plot: In their 24-3 loss to San Diego, the Texans looked very much the undermanned expansion team that might have exhausted a full season’s supply of adrenaline in their opening-night upset of the Cowboys. Now continues the hard part: the rest of the schedule. Meanwhile, the tackling-challenged Colts are still struggling to grasp the fundamentals of defense. After two games in 2001, the Colts had given up 50 points and 701 yards. After two games in 2002, the Colts have yielded 46 points and 685 yards. Tony Dungy and the Texans are slowly learning: It’s going to be a long haul.

Monday’s headline: “Giddy Dungy: ‘You Mean We Get To Play Them TWICE A Year?!’ ”

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KANSAS CITY AT NEW ENGLAND

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: New England by 9

Quick slant: Pony express finally reaches Vegas bookmakers. “Holy cow, it says here Patriots are good!”

Plot: It didn’t take a ton of bricks to fall on the behind-the-curve types who set the NFL betting lines. No, only victories by scores of 30-14 and 44-7 over 2001 playoff teams Pittsburgh and the Jets. (Not to mention an 11-game winning streak that includes, oh, right, the Super Bowl.) Finally, the Patriots are favored to win a game, this one over Kansas City, which is one thrown helmet away from an 0-2 start and cries for Trent Green’s benching. Oh, that has already started? Says Chief Coach Dick Vermeil of Green’s backup: “It would not surprise me to see Todd Collins go in a football game and play very well.”

Monday’s headline: “Patriots Beat the Spread Again.”

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CAROLINA AT MINNESOTA

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Minnesota by 6

Quick slant: Gary, old man, we can only hope and pray you’ve forgotten that unseemly pink-slip thing, given your advanced age and all.

Plot: Why are the Vikings 0-2? In a word, “ageism.” Gary Anderson, the NFL’s all-time leading scorer, turned 43 in July, so the Vikings cut him, ignoring that in 2001, Anderson converted 15 of 18 field-goal attempts and missed only one of 30 extra-point tries. When Doug Brien missed twice as many extra points in last week’s overtime loss to Buffalo, Anderson found himself getting pulled out of a fishing stream and back onto the Vikings’ active roster for Sunday’s game. In other codger news, Rodney Peete, 36, makes his third consecutive start for undefeated Carolina.

Monday’s headline: “Crow’s Feet Don’t Fail Vikings Now”

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BUFFALO AT DENVER

Kickoff: Sunday, 1 p.m.

The line: Denver by 9

Quick slant: Drew Bledsoe versus kings of the NFC West.

Plot: The Bills have played 659 games in their history, 657 without Bledsoe. They have been quarterbacked by a Hall of Famer (Jim Kelly), a league championship winner (Jack Kemp), a Pro Bowl veteran (Joe Ferguson) and a cult hero (Doug Flutie)--and none of them passed for as many yards as Bledsoe did in his second game with the Bills last week: 463. Bledsoe has turned the Bills from a turn-the-channel regular to a refrigerator-run-can-wait thriller almost overnight. More edge-of-the-seat action is expected Sunday against the Broncos, 2-0 after wins over NFC West favorites St. Louis and San Francisco.

Monday’s headline: “All Bledsoe, All Overtime for Bills Again”

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SAN DIEGO AT ARIZONA

Kickoff: Sunday, 1 p.m.

TV: Channel 2

The line: San Diego by 1

Quick slant: Will the real Thomas Jones please stand up?

Plot: No Cardinal running back had rushed for 100 yards in a game since September 2000, a streak that extended 29 games. Then came Sunday in Seattle, when Jones got the ball 24 times against the league’s 32nd-ranked rushing defense and wound up netting 173 yards--103 more than his best previous day as a pro. Milestone? Or mirage? In the desert, Jones and the Cardinals will search for clues against the Chargers, owners of--yes, it says right here--the NFL’s top-ranked defense. The Chargers are 2-0 after successive byes, otherwise known as games at Cincinnati and at home against Houston.

Monday’s headline: “Chargers Advise Cards, Jones to Take a Seat”

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GREEN BAY AT DETROIT

Kickoff: Sunday, 1:15 p.m.

The line: Green Bay by 8

Quick slant: Ford Field, where quality is job left undone.

Plot: A funny thing happened on the way to the Lions’ grand opening of their $300-million stadium. The Lions kicked off the season. Now 0-2 after losing last week by 24 points to a team that lost its last 15 games last season, the Lions have hit panic mode a month earlier than usual and are switching quarterbacks, benching Mike McMahon in favor of first-round draft pick Joey Harrington. Harrington has thrown only 18 passes for a rating of 23.8, but Ford Field officials figure they have to do something to attract customers before the new stadium smell fades.

Monday’s headline: “Poll: Having Taken Test Drive, 93% of Detroit Fans Prefer Tigers”

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SEATTLE AT NEW YORK GIANTS

Kickoff: Sunday, 1:15 p.m.

The line: New York by 6

Quick slant: Resistible force meets movable object.

Plot: Seattle surrendered 173 yards rushing last game to Arizona’s Thomas Jones, which can mean only one thing Sunday at the Meadowlands: It’s now or never for Ron Dayne. With Tiki Barber limping, the Giants are asking more from Dayne, and receiving the usual: no gains and one-yard losses in important short-yardage situations. This might help explain why Giant quarterback Kerry Collins has thrown for 300 yards or more in five consecutive games and will tie the league record with another against the Seahawks. Because, somewhere, somehow, there has to be an explanation.

Monday’s headline: “Dayne Steps Back and Applauds Collins’ Record Performance”

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WASHINGTON AT SAN FRANCISCO

Kickoff: Sunday, 1:15 p.m.

TV: Channel 11

The line: San Francisco by 9

Quick slant: Remember the Osaka Dome!

Plot: Here’s one more difference between the colleges and the pros Steve Spurrier might have initially missed: Run up the score in an early-season game in college and you might never have to schedule a rematch. Run up the score in an exhibition game in the NFL and six weeks later, you find yourself traveling to their place. “We’ll see you again!” 49er Coach Steve Mariucci promised/warned Spurrier and his staff after the Redskins’ 38-7 victory over San Francisco last month in Osaka, Japan. Yes, they will, and there you are. Do Redskin quarterbacks come equipped with air bags?

Monday’s headline: “Spurrier Discovers Payback Is a Blitz”

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CINCINNATI AT ATLANTA

Kickoff: Sunday, 5:30 p.m.

TV: ESPN

The line: Atlanta by 7

Quick slant: Bengals, Falcons both 0-2. And other reasons statistics lie.

Plot: If not for two plays--William Henderson ruled just short of the goal line in Green Bay, Jay Feely hooking a field goal wide against Chicago--the Falcons would be 2-0. If not for scheduled league games against San Diego and Cleveland, the Bengals might be undefeated too. The Falcons, with Michael Vick scrambling for big gains, more time to throw and/or his continued well being, have become the NFC’s surprising must-see team. The Bengals are still quarterbacked by Gus Frerotte, who can throw interceptions with either hand, which is also something that must be seen to be believed.

Monday’s headline: “All Hands on Deck for Falcons’ Rout of Bengals”

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ST. LOUIS AT TAMPA BAY

Kickoff: Monday, 6 p.m.

TV: Channel 7

The line: St. Louis by 2 1/2

Quick slant: History is at hand, one way or another.

Plot: With 17 pass attempts Monday night, Ram quarterback Kurt Warner will have 1,500 for his career, making him eligible for the NFL’s official all-time quarterback rating leaders list. Warner will debut at No. 1, testament to how much he has thrown and how fast he has grown since becoming a starter only three years ago. At the same time, Warner is one road loss from an 0-3 start. The Patriots, of all people, have provided inspiration for the Rams--New England started the 2001 season 0-2 and went on to win the Super Bowl. Remind the Rams: No 0-3 team has gone on to do the same.

Tuesday’s headline: “Super Bowl ‘Contenders’ Both Now 1-2”