At Long Last, It’s Dana vs. Dornan

Twelve years ago this month, I put my feet up on my desk and pounded out a column on the juicy prospect of Orange County Republican congressmen Bob Dornan and Dana Rohrabacher running against each other in a newly created district. At the time, they were local heavyweights with strong constituencies, and the thought of them squaring off in a primary was like waiting for a much-anticipated prizefight.

Bare knuckles, a fight that wouldn’t be over until one man was out cold.

Dornan was the reigning seven-term senior man and had made it known he thought he deserved the throne in the solidly Republican 45th. That meant the whippersnapper Rohrabacher, a mere two-termer at the time, should go find his own district. After all, there’s such a thing as professional courtesy, and Dornan -- who is, after all, the soul of gentility -- fully expected Rohrabacher to defer.

Either that or Dornan would roast Rohrabacher’s chestnuts over an open fire.

Lo and behold, Rohrabacher didn’t get the hint.

He announced he was running for the 45th and Dornan could do as he pleased. Flummoxed, Dornan talked about running against Rohrabacher but instead remained in a district less safe politically, a district that eventually turned him out in 1996 and rejected him again in 1998. For Dornan, who was also running for president in 1996, it was the ultimate insult: losing to Loretta Sanchez.

That ended Dornan’s political career, but I’ve had the feeling ever since that, each night before he falls asleep, he has dreamed of a retirement party -- for Rohrabacher. Perhaps one that involves spiked punch.

Well, if revenge is best served cold, Dornan apparently plans the greatest revenge in Orange County political history.

Twelve years after he took a pass and seven years after his last term in office, Dornan, now 113 years old, has announced a return to the ring to take on Rohrabacher, a mere pup of 56, in next year’s Republican congressional primary.

Twelve years? Bill Clinton wasn’t even president yet.

A former White House speechwriter, Rohrabacher is from the Ronald Reagan school. Dornan is from the Bob Dornan school, with an alumni class of one.

The issues? Who cares?

The only issues are named Dornan and Rohrabacher, two quirky and proven Republican vote-getters who likely won’t have a dime’s worth of difference on policy positions.

Not that it matters. This primary race won’t be about policy positions. It’ll be about unfinished business for Dornan, who has kept himself current by appearing on various TV political talk shows.

In olden times, the Republican hierarchy would never let these two pugs have at each other. I, for one, am hoping and praying that the party lets them have at it, preferably with no referee in the ring.

Twelve years ago, salivating at the prospect of this battle of titans, I wrote that the political pros favored Dornan but that I was going with the younger Rohrabacher.

No prediction this time.

However, I’m reminded of a vintage boxing match I saw on TV last week. Jim Jeffries, the heavyweight champion who retired undefeated in 1905, came out of retirement in 1910 to fight new champ Jack Johnson.

Most of the public wanted Jeffries, a white Midwesterner full of ring rust, to wrest the crown from the black champion.

I doubt anyone is urging Dornan to run, except the voice inside his head.

Nonetheless, Dornan might want to check out the fight.

Under a blazing summer sun, Johnson knocked Jeffries down three times in the 15th round, and the fight was stopped.

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Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. He can be reached at (714) 966-7821, at dana.parsons@latimes.com or at The Times’ Orange County edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626.