This Was Crazy Act Even for a Duke Fan

Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times: “Duke student Robert Findly, 21, took the term ‘basketball buff’ a bit too literally last week,” the Associated Press reported.

“Just before halftime of the Blue Devils’ basketball game against rival North Carolina, Findly bolted onto the court, wearing nothing but running shoes, a scarf and a painted Nike swoosh on his back, and got in a full lap before the cops got him.

“According to the police report, Findly said he ‘was trying to be like the guy on the Nike commercial who was running around naked on the soccer field’ in hopes of getting some endorsement work.”

More Perry: “News flash: The Greek parliament has passed a bill to send 1,500 cab drivers to charm school so the cabbies won’t offend foreigners attending the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens, the London Evening Standard reported.

“Reaction in the States was swift. The NASCAR photographers’ pool, for example, immediately offered to cover whatever it costs to enroll Tony Stewart.”

Trivia time: Who holds the NBA playoff record for fewest minutes played before fouling out?

Dunk contest obsolete: Steve Hummer of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution writes that the NBA’s slam-dunk contest is losing its luster:

“It is a slightly fatigued sideshow to All-Star weekend, like the carnival bearded lady or two-headed goat.

“It exists simply because it always has and no one quite knows how to let it go.

“Julius Erving expressed pretty much everything that ever needed to be expressed about the dunk in 1976.

“That’s when he took off from the free throw line and threw it.

“Now, they can’t get any of the NBA’s established stars to take part in the thing, and the contest has been in a steady state of fade. It has become like a major league All-Star home run derby among four Montreal Expos.”

Cold: John Salley, doing interviews at the NBA All-Star game, said to Shaquille O’Neal, “I sat on the bench for the Lakers. Did I teach you anything?”

Said Shaq, “I don’t know who you are.”

All the facts: “Colin Powell gave a thorough presentation [to the U.N. Security Council],” David Letterman said. “He even had proof that Saddam Hussein bet on baseball.”

Grammar problem: Bill Scheft of Sports Illustrated on the Arena Football League: “It’s much more civil than the XFL. The AFL’s big star is ‘He Dislike Me.’ ”

Chaotic: From comedy writer Earl Hochman: “The U.S. Olympic Committee’s credibility is in real jeopardy, what with leadership changes, frequent political infighting, alleged doping scandals -- about the same scenario as a typical Jerry Springer show.”

Trivia answer: Travis Knight of the Lakers, six minutes against San Antonio on May 23, 1999.

And finally: Boston Celtic forward Antoine Walker, when asked why he shoots so many three-pointers, replied, “Because there are no fours.”

-- Mal Florence