Seeding May Be Planted From Dismal Finals

On the bright side, just because you can’t put on a marquee event anymore doesn’t mean you can’t be a spectacle.

After four seasons of walkovers, the New Jersey Nets have made a real series out of the NBA Finals. With a healthy Kenyon Martin, they might even have won Game 5, which would mean they’d be (gasp) leading, 3-2, rather than facing extinction today against the San Antonio Spurs.

Of course, where would they be if David Stern’s referees weren’t letting them hack away at Tim Duncan as if they were lumberjacks and he was a great tree in the forest?

Not that actual competition did anything to solve Stern’s problems with this once-momentous event.

The Nets also helped make this a real bad series, with personalities and basketball so dull, the bottom fell out of the ratings, which were already in the dumper.

Stern, of course, handled the ratings like a seal with a beach ball, explaining they’re down all over, etc. Nevertheless, he seemed to betray his concern, letting his fabled poise slip when ABC’s Mike Tirico asked about it.

Exclaimed Stern, in surprise, “Are you at ABC asking me about ratings?”

Well, what’s left of them, anyway.

Losing 5%-10% isn’t a big deal in the Internet/cable age since ratings are down all over. However, when you drop from an 18 in 1998, Michael Jordan’s swan song with the Chicago Bulls, to the 10-12 range for four springs, and then lose almost half of that in one fell swoop, you could safely call that alarming.

At 10-12, the NBA was still within striking distance of baseball, which just had dramatic seven-game World Series (New York Yankees-Arizona Diamondbacks in 2001, Angels-San Francisco Giants in 2002) while posting its two lowest numbers, 15.7 and 11.9, respectively.

Meanwhile, the NBA was presenting one-sided series, raising the question of what would happen if it ever had a competitive Finals ... like this one.

The answer turned out to be, with the wrong teams playing b-o-r-i-n-g basketball, you had a disaster on your hands, suspense or no suspense.

As you may recall, I’ve been nagging Stern to seed his final four teams for years and he has been responding with protestations of puzzlement, even as his league goes out with a whimper each spring.

I was concerned with one thing -- competition -- and there’s obviously more to it.

On the other hand, in the NBA’s tilted universe, seeding is still the answer, because the Western Conference dominates in everything: superstars, glamour, big players and offense.

Four NBA teams averaged 100 points this season, the Dallas Mavericks, Sacramento Kings, Golden State Warriors and Lakers. All, of course, are from the West.

Seeding wouldn’t guarantee a dream matchup, but even with the Lakers and Kings gone in the second round, it might well have sent the Spurs and Mavericks to the Finals, where their high-scoring series would have been received more favorably.

Instead, we’re stuck with this two-week jail sentence.

Even with the media stashed happily in Manhattan last week, since no one was going to stay in Jersey mini-mall-land, this event approached the unendurable level.

Spur Coach Gregg Popovich cheerily conceded they had “definitely set offensive basketball back about 15 years,” then went zone almost all of Game 5, since the Nets can’t shoot a lick, setting offensive basketball back five more years.

The basketball wasn’t even the worst of it, next to the Nets’ incredibly cheesy attempts at promotion, with their unending obligatory allusions to “The Sopranos” and their relentless search to produce home-grown celebrities, who would admit to being from there.

Their very own Joe Piscopo served as nightly emcee, doing a takeoff on the old “Saturday Night Live” intro, screaming, “Live from New J-E-R-S-E-Y ...”

Not that Joe isn’t that current, but for his first appearance they ran a graphic under his image on the scoreboard video screen, identifying him as “Comedian.”

Then there was the public address announcer, who seemed to be trying to make up for decades of local indifference with each plea to “Make a difference” or “You have all summer to rest,” delivered at ear-splitting decibel levels.

This was embarrassing the New Yorkers present, lest they be confused with this Holiday Inn lounge act, so near Manhattan and yet so far.

Manhattan was Cary Grant in a tuxedo, drinking martinis with Claudette Colbert in an evening gown.

New Jersey was now represented by a nightly video of James Gandolfini, brandishing a footlong cigar and telling the fans they’d better cheer.

The New York Post’s Pete Vecsey trashed the whole mish-mash as “indescribably distasteful,” asserting with only slight exaggeration that it was another reason “why mortgage rates and the Finals TV rating both sank below five....”

On the other hand, as the athletes say, New Jersey is in the past and we’re not looking back. Hopefully.

This was actually the East’s window of opportunity because, even if its best teams are getting better (?), the West powers figure to get a lot better faster.

Picture the Lakers with Gary Payton, Karl Malone or Juwan Howard.

Picture the Spurs with another year of experience, not to mention Jermaine O’Neal or P.J. Brown.

For the moment, it looks like the End of the Finals, as We Know Them.

Hopefully.

Faces and Figures

With little consensus on draft prospects, only a few bona-fide latecomers are moving up at this point. Pavel Podkolzine, an 18-year-old, 7-foot-3, 303-pound Russian, wowed scouts at the Chicago pre-draft camp and is expected to go in the top half of the lottery, with the Clippers a possibility at No. 6. Even if they don’t get him, Podkolzine’s move means that Chris Bosh or Chris Kaman will be there.... Pre-draft camp heights and weights: Sure enough, Georgetown’s Mike Sweetney measured out at 6-7 1/4, 262 in bare feet, raising the question of whether he can play inside. However, scouts say his workouts have been impressive and he’s still expected to go in the lottery.... Staying up there: Marquette’s Dwyane Wade, looking good in workouts. Dropping: Georgia’s Jarvis Hayes.... Dropping out? Brazilian power forward Anderson Varejao, once projected as a lottery pick, is reportedly considering withdrawing as his stock slides.... Come again? ESPN’s Andy Katz reported Podkolzine’s Chicago workout with former Nevada Las Vegas Coach Bill Bayno was “aggressive, diversified and productive.” Actually, Podkolzine only ran drills against Bayno, with no other player there, meaning Pavel’s agent was taking no chances.... Emerging personality of the year: The Nets’ Richard Jefferson not only recovered from his Finals swoon, but showed rare perspective with gems like: “Congratulations to the Devils. I’m extremely happy for them and their organization. But I have the feeling that even if both of us win, the tourism in Jersey will not go up.” ... More Jefferson: “Even if we win the NBA title, the West will still be the stronger conference because you have two teams that won 60 games in a competitive conference. Even if we win, it doesn’t mean the East is stronger.”

For the record: LeBron James is 6-7 1/4, 245, a tad bigger than listed. Darko Milicic is an authentic big man at 6-11 1/2, 250. Carmelo Anthony, who was listed at 6-8 at Syracuse, is 6-6 1/2, 233, 10 pounds over his listed weight.... Why real heights and weights are important: Everybody lies.... For example, Marquette’s imposing-looking Robert Jackson was listed at 6-10, 250. At Chicago, he turned out to be 6-7 3/4. Memphis State wide body Chris Massie, listed at 6-9, went through this last season, came back and was once more found to have a short body that measured 6-6 1/4.... Oregon’s Luke Ridnour was 6-1, 167, which may hurt, since teams worry he’ll get bumped out of the way trying to guard the Stephon Marburys of the world.... Oklahoma’s Hollis Price, a nice player, is 5-11, 165, which means he’ll do well to go in the second round. However, St. Joseph’s point guard Jameer Nelson, who’s 5-11, 193, may still have a shot at the first round.... UCLA’s Jason Kapono, who turned out to be 6-6 1/2, 215, at the draft camp: “I just know that I should have left after my freshman year, played in Croatia, grew a beard and changed my name to Vladimir Kaponovich. Then I would have been perfect.”