Giving Police the Slip? Fat Chance

The colorful crime log of UC Santa Barbara’s Daily Nexus newspaper recently recounted the case of an 18-year-old man who was caught ambling down the street with a beer. While campus police were trying to establish his identity, he ran. He was chased down and, as he was being arrested, he was asked why he fled.

“You are kind of chubby,” he told an officer. “I didn’t think you would be able to catch me.”

Water, water, from every direction: During a recent storm, Blair Barnette observed that “here in Palm Desert we keep that pesky rain rinsed off of our streets” (see photo).

Unclear on the concept: Randy Xavier of Santa Monica noticed an elevator sign that basically assured users that in case of trouble there was no need to panic; just hit the panic button (see photo).

Such a deal: I’ve seen a few pair of secondhand false teeth for sale in classified ads, but F. Jane Bush of Palm Desert was the first to tell me about someone trying to sell a used version of one beauty aid (see accompanying).

Guide to adventurous dining: Today’s special du column is a duck with a human-like appendage, contributed by Jeanie Eng Lee of Monterey Park (see accompanying).

Ooh La La, UCLA: After day and night classes end in one Moore Hall lecture room, the action really begins. A UCLA official sent out a memo noting that one door to the room is open until 11 p.m. and asked that the automatic lock be changed so that it shuts for good at 9 p.m.

“The concern is that the students have found out about it being open so late at night and they are using it as a rec. room,” the memo said. “The custodians are finding used condoms in the room.” Gee, do I feel old. When I was in school, I think pingpong and billiards provided the major thrills in the rec room.

MiscelLAny: The other day I published a mistake-marred job ad informing would-be movie extras that they had a chance to “burn” up to $200 a day. The boo-boo didn’t discourage everyone.

A gentleman left a message on my phone machine, telling me: “I was reading that you need some extras on a movie set. I’m available.”

Thanks for the call. I’ll get back to you just as soon as I get the financing for “Only in L.A.--The Movie!”

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.