Hanging Around USC Is Bad for Bruin Health

Joined some of my die-hard Trojan brethren Thursday and took a stroll around the campus, trying to determine where they might eventually put the statue of St. Pete.

Personally, I’d just take down the statue of Tommy Trojan and replace him with a likeness of Coach Pete Carroll, who has more to do with USC’s football success than some outdated cartoonish character.

St. Pete, fresh off a game in which he refused to run up the score -- which has to be the best news UCLA has heard all week -- has everyone on the USC campus walking around as though they’re better than everyone else.

It’s fun again to look down on the people who had to go to UCLA.

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A REDHEAD rode by on her bicycle, dragging behind a UCLA teddy bear, and I guess we know who will play the part of Glenn Close if there’s a sequel to “Fatal Attraction.” I know I made a point of not making eye contact with her.

Stopped by the USC bookstore to add to my wardrobe and noticed they had bunches of UCLA teddy bears hanging from the ceiling. It gave me an idea for our den -- if we ever get a house with a den.

I had read an open letter from USC Prez Steven Sample and UCLA boss Albert Carnesale in the USC student newspaper, asking for a respectful UCLA-USC experience, and so I have to commend USC for honoring that request and hanging the UCLA bears from the ceiling by their paws, rather than their necks.

Now depending on your level of pent-up anger, the hanging bears ranged in price from $6.95 to $32.95. I wonder what that $32.95 teddy bear ever did to that redhead.

I noticed a sign advertising “SC’s Gridiron Rivalry” tacked to the wall and an open invitation to listen to panelists Tony Boselli, Marlin McKeever, Petros Papadakis and Mike Garrett in Heritage Hall. I’d go almost anywhere, of course, to listen to Garrett talk, which these days I consider a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

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THE FIRST one I noticed when I got there was Papadakis. I know how happy that will make him. He was making fun of UCLA and was sitting there with his hair dyed red, blue and gold.

I noticed, though, that when Papadakis said, “USC has made UCLA quit the last two years, and if UCLA does it again, it will be very humiliating,” Garrett began laughing. Papadakis continued his rant at UCLA’s expense. I had no idea Garrett could laugh that hard.

Boselli, who was a terrific NFL player before getting hurt, said there was really something different about UCLA and the people who go there, and Papadakis chimed in, “Yeah, separate checks. The people at UCLA always ask for separate checks,” and everyone laughed at UCLA again.

When the meeting broke up, I walked up to Garrett, figuring he’d probably want to embrace me, now that I’m a die-hard Trojan, but he seemed uncomfortable.

“I’m nervous,” he said, and I got to thinking, maybe this is the first time he’s ever thought about hugging a sportswriter.

“I’m just very nervous,” he said, and I noticed he was walking and talking at the same time, and I was so proud of him, because for the longest time I never dreamed he could do such a thing.

I also noticed he was walking away.

“What are you nervous about?” I asked his back as he kept going.

“Winning,” he said over his shoulder, and I understood. I should have known he’s superstitious and doesn’t want to hug until the game is over.

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MICHIGAN BEATS Ohio State on Saturday, and the most overblown story of the year -- USC’s getting ripped off by a BCS computer -- will just blow away.

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HAD A nice conversation with injured King Jason Allison during the second period Wednesday night at Staples. Hey, it beat watching the game, and now that I think about it, Allison also didn’t seem in any hurry to watch the game.

He continues to recover from a neck injury and said he went a four-month stretch with a headache, “24-7.” I told him my office is next to Sports Editor Bill Dwyre’s.

The headaches no longer seem to be a problem. He talked positively about his return in three to six weeks. He said it could take him six games or so to get up to full speed, and he said he hoped the media and fans understood. I told him I probably won’t be there, so it doesn’t matter to me.

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THE NEW York media again raised the possibility of Kobe Bryant’s playing for the Knicks after he becomes a free agent. If he signs with the Knicks, he’ll be wearing No. 8 -- Latrell Sprewell’s old jersey.

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FOR THE record, I get paid on occasion for appearing on XTRA Sports Radio 690 & 1150, which is more punishment than reward when you consider I have to spend time with Hacksaw. I also listen every once in a while to the Tony Bruno Philadelphia Show in the morning, which makes me the only one, I guess.

I mention this because I’d like to pass on a compliment to someone who also works for XTRA, and it has nothing to do with being paid. Actually, Mychal Thompson, who also appears with Steve Hartman on XTRA’s “Loose Cannons,” does his best work for KLAC as the radio analyst on Laker games. Thompson has been entertaining, critical and informative, which makes you wonder why he doesn’t stick out more when he’s on XTRA.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in an e-mail from Jim Pfeifer:

“Please be our guest at our annual [USC] band fund-raising event Saturday. The band will appear for a 15-minute concert, and the minimum donation is $35, but I want you to be my guest. We’ll have scrambled eggs, hash browns and sausage. Bring the Bagger.”

I just lost my appetite.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com