Photographs Could Help Narrow the Possibilities

A Laguna Beach merchant “took pictures of a man she caught trying to steal a jacket,” the Coastline Pilot reported. “She described the man as being 45 to 55 years old with a smooth flawless face that appeared as if he’d just had a face-lift.”

Unfortunately for the merchant, no telling how many men in Laguna Beach fit that description.

Got milk, officer? The police log of the Huntington Beach Independent said that “a 911 hang-up call was reportedly caused by a toddler asking for his bottle.”

He made political history: But before that, notes Keith Johnson of Pilgrim School in L.A., Arnold Schwarzenegger had won a place in Chapter 3 of “College Algebra and Trigonometry.” However, the textbook wanted him, not for his mind, but for a body mass problem (see photo).

Unexpected heartache: Referring to an ad that appeared in Friday’s column, Dennis Levin (among many other exasperated readers) wrote: “Did the pain in the window cause you to overlook the more serious problem of the mold returning to the kitchen?”

Good thing Duke Wayne wasn’t around: In my desperate campaign to find a more exciting name for Los Angeles International Airport, I thought of one possibility (see accompanying).

The name was inadvertently linked with Orange County by a cruise line several years ago. Don’t think it’s been taken by any other airports since.

Post-Halloween discount? S. Moore of Long Beach sent along an ad placed by a handyman who will rid that haunted home of yours of bad vibrations (see accompanying). The ghost-buster added that he would perform “other services.” Moore asked: “Does that mean he’ll do windows?” Or mold?

Unexpected holiday: Huntington Beach High had to shut down for the day the other morning after some workers accidentally cut through a water main. I can understand the closing. The mishap left the school with “one restroom for 2,500 kids,” a radio station reported. In the Harvey household, it’s tough enough having one restroom for two kids.

Anniversaries: Jerry Clark passed along the following to Don Barrett’s LARadio.com Web site: “Nineteen years to the day after putting his handprints in cement at Mann’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood, Michael Jackson puts his hands in handcuffs in Santa Barbara County.”

miscelLAny: I stopped at a red light in Long Beach, but the driver in the next lane ignored the signal and sped through the intersection. I was irritated, as always in such instances, until a funny thing happened -- I saw a flash of light. Bingo! A surveillance camera had snapped a shot of the license plate of Mr. The Traffic Laws Don’t Apply to Me. He’ll soon experience a little delayed justice in the form of a traffic ticket in the mail.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.