If This Thief Ever Confesses, He’ll Have Plenty to Get Off His Chest

I don’t believe this one was reported on the boob tube. The crime log of the Rancho Santa Margarita News said Orange County sheriff’s deputies “are searching for a person who stole 16 gel breast implants valued at approximately $8,000 from an area plastic surgeon.”

Not sure what a thief would do with gel breast implants.

I suppose you could list them on EBay. And then, I guess, the purchaser could tell the plastic surgeon, “I have my own implants, I just need for you to install them.”

A warning to the hired help: Actor Will Rogers points out that his kind are called every day to “the offices of casting directors, which are makeshift studios, for auditions. They’re typically in small buildings in chic neighborhoods where parking is at a premium.”

And whereas VIPs have reserved parking, “the entryways are papered with warnings reminding actors not to use the studios’ lot” (see photos).

Says Rogers: “I do have a couple of commercials running, so smiling pleasantly at the people who post these notices may constitute my best performances.”

Violators really put on notice: David Pick of Solvang noticed an item about an illegal driver whose car was apparently towed across the United States (see accompanying). Hope the guy wasn’t auditioning somewhere.

Spacey: Don’t know if you caught Gov. Gray Davis’ blooper in a newspaper interview when he said that “we have people from every planet” in California. But a reader of Tom FitzGerald’s column in the San Francisco Chronicle commented afterward, “Now we know the scary truth. There’s more of them here than just Dennis Rodman.”

Democratic solidarity? I notice that Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante charged that Republican rival Arnold Schwarzenegger “lives on Planet Hollywood,” so maybe the Cruzer agrees with Davis.

What’s new? Of course, one of Davis’ offbeat predecessors, Jerry Brown, was known as Gov. Moonbeam.

Solar system census: By the way, if what Davis said about non-earthlings living here is true, I wonder if a lot of the politicians are from Jupiter.

After all, that planet is full of gas.

miscelLAny: On the subject of fumes, Vince Muselli of Santa Monica found a gas station that’s apparently willing to eliminate the middleman if you want to speed up the polluting (see photo).

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.