That’s Why They Call It Jolly Old England

There will be no April Fool’s jokes played by Morning Briefing today. No clever Sidd Finch tall tales to spring on the readers.

However, this won’t stop the reporting of jokes elsewhere played on unsuspecting sports fans on Thursday. Soccer fans in England were particularly active, according to the BBC’s website. Message boards played jokes -- one saying Eric Cantona would sign with Yeovil Town and another saying Jurgen Klinsmann was coming out of retirement.

And this one had the switchboard flooded with irate phone calls at Everton. The rumor provoking the ire of the fans had the team switching to a new football uniform, a kit, as they like to say, of an old rival.

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Trivia time: Who was the first NHL goalie to regularly wear a mask?

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Grand Slam: There will be a bit of a tennis theme going at Saturday’s Santa Anita Derby.

The favorite is Wimbledon.

Wimbledon’s owner is more than the typical avid tennis fan. Owner Jim McIngvale was instrumental in bringing the season-ending Tennis Masters Cup to Houston, a tournament featuring the top men’s players in the world.

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M.T. on A.I.: Mychal Thompson had a few words on the singular nature of Allen Iverson earlier this week on XTRA.

“In all my years of playing, I never had a teammate like A.I. who didn’t want to practice, didn’t respect the coach, didn’t respect his teammates,” Thompson said on the radio show. “This is so foreign to me, when you hear teammates acting the way that A.I. does, not showing up, being late.

“No one dared to be late under Jack Ramsay or Pat Riley, or Magic Johnson ... Practice was at 10 a.m.; everybody was there at 9:15. That’s how it was when I played. If you don’t show up, you might as well not show up the rest of the year.”

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Eat to win: The person to beat at tonight’s Orlando Magic game weighs 105 pounds and is named Sonya Thomas.

The Magic will become the first NBA team to play host to an International Federation of Competitive Eaters (IFOCE) sanctioned event, according to Tim Povtak of the Orlando Sentinel.

Writes Povtak: “Some of Thomas’ past eating feats include: 134 chicken wings in 12 minutes, 65 hard-boiled eggs in six minutes 40 seconds, seven hamburgers in 10 minutes, 23 pulled-pork sandwiches in 10 minutes, 43 soft tacos in 11 minutes; and 4 pounds 14 ounces of fruitcake in 10 minutes.”

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Shawn’s addiction: Shawn Colvin, the Grammy-winning singer-songwriter, acknowledges that she has gotten to the point where she flat-out needs to run.

“I’d go crazy if I couldn’t run,” she told Runner’s World magazine. “Maybe it would be fun for a week or two to have a hall pass not to exercise. But I don’t know what I’d do. Knit?”

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Trivia answer: Jacques Plante.

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And finally: Shaunie O’Neal, on whether she is part of the media now, after going on “Lakers Living Room” on Tuesday night:

“Last night I guess I was. [Shaq] told everyone, ‘My wife is a part of the media and I’m not talking to her either.’ ”