In Latest Stunt, Shaq Disappears

Phil Jackson doesn’t even sweat it when he sees Shaquille O’Neal tumbling over the courtside seats. The best center in the league -- a $62-million investment for the Lakers over the next two years -- goes head-first into the concrete and Jackson isn’t concerned?

“I’m immune to that,” the coach said. “It’s high comedy. I think he’s Chevy Chase reincarnated.”

The latest pratfall came Friday night in Seattle, when O’Neal somersaulted over the scrolling advertising and the press table along the baseline. He broke the screen on a laptop computer belonging to Brad Turner of the Riverside Press-Enterprise, and one of his size-22 shoes bopped the L.A. Daily News’ Howard Beck on the head. O’Neal disappeared under the table. While the rest of Lakerland held its collective breath, what was the Diesel doing?

Smiling. He loves this stuff. He relaxed, took his time, then crawled under the table and emerged near the Lakers’ bench.

It’s fun for him. That’s why he didn’t stop when he had the chance.

“Yeah, he could’ve stopped,” Gary Payton said when the question was put to O’Neal. “He wanted to do all that dramatic [stuff].”

O’Neal began crafting his own response.

“Being the stuntman that I am,” he started.

“You’re a stuntman?” Payton interrupted.

“Let me finish talking, man,” O’Neal said.

“Man, I ain’t letting you finish nothin’,” Payton shot back.

O’Neal was undeterred.

“There were a couple of guys over there I didn’t like,” O’Neal said. “So it was my opportunity to take people out.

“I could’ve stopped. But it would’ve been nice if I would’ve landed on Brad’s neck. They would’ve rolled him out in a stretcher.”

O’Neal doesn’t need a stretcher, just a finishing line. Something like, “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”

Sights

Kobe Bryant producing his first highlight-worthy dunk of the season.

While the rest of his game rounded into form, the one noticeable remnant of Bryant’s off-season knee surgery had been his inability to elevate for the poster plays. Even on breakaways he was content to simply drop the ball through the hoop -- including at the All-Star game, when the Staples Center crowd booed a wide-open layup.

But when Houston center Yao Ming tossed a ball back on the court as he fell out of bounds Thursday, leaving the lane empty, Bryant capitalized, took off and threw down a leg-flailing, over-the-head dunk.

“I felt good,” Bryant said. “I just went for it. I’m finally getting my hops back.”

To prove his point, he floated through the lane for a reverse dunk Friday night.

Sounds

Karl Malone talking trash to O’Neal.

“Get out of here, little fella,” Malone said as he snatched a rebound from his larger teammate Thursday.

“When the ball is up on the glass, it’s yours,” Malone explained. “That’s the mind-set you’ve got to have.

“It’s just one of those things. When the ball is up there, I’ve got just as much right to it as anybody else. Even a teammate.”

Faces in the Crowd

Vitaly and Wladimir Klitschko and Sylvester Stallone on Sunday vs. Utah.

Ice Cube, Jon Cryer and Sheila E on Tuesday vs. New Orleans.

Donovan McNabb on Thursday vs. Houston.

In a Word

“Scrowl.”

O’Neal’s description of Payton’s trademark glare. When asked to do his impression of that Payton look, O’Neal scrunched up his face like a man drinking a glass of sour milk while being told his tax returns will be audited by the IRS.