Buss Is Keeping His Eye on Calendar

If Kobe Bryant goes elsewhere, Shaquille O’Neal’s body gives out, Phil Jackson retires and the Lakers fall apart, what becomes of owner Jerry Buss?

Public relations guru Bob Steiner, Buss’ longtime right-hand man, offered a hint on Fox Sports Net’s “Beyond the Glory” Sunday night.

Said Steiner: “Someone once asked Jerry, ‘Are you worried that you are going to mess this thing up?’ And he said, ‘The worst thing that could happen is that I’ll take my last remaining 2 or 3 or 4 million and move to Tahiti with Miss April, May or June.’ ”

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Trivia time: Buss bought the Lakers from Jack Kent Cooke. Who owned the team before Cooke?

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Sting operation: The Lakers have the Laker Girls. The New Orleans Hornets, who play the Lakers on Tuesday night at Staples Center, have a different idea.

The team and a rock station are creating an all-male dance team, “the Bumblebees.” They’re looking for “huge” fans to put in Bumblebee uniforms. By huge, they mean big.

The pitch: “So if Fat Tuesday means nothing to you, because you’re fat Monday through Friday as well, the Hornets want you to be a Bumblebee.”

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Hair today, gone tomorrow: In a “SportsCentury” profile of John

Wooden airing on ESPN Classic today at 5 and 8 p.m., Bill Walton says that he and Wooden “fought about everything” when he played for Wooden, particularly his hair.

“I’m the two-time NCAA player of the year and he says, ‘That’s not good enough. Your hair is too long,’ ” Walton says.

Says Wooden: “He said, ‘You don’t have the right to tell me how long to wear my hair.’ I said, ‘You’re right, I don’t have that right. But I do have the right to say who will play. And we will miss you.’ ”

Walton: “I jumped in the barber’s chair and said, ‘Cut it all off.’ ”

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Give him credit: Actor-comedian Jack Riley, probably best known as the neurotic Mr. Carlin on “The Bob Newhart Show,” and KLAC’s Gary Owens are emceeing the annual benefit for the “Baseball Reliquary” Wednesday night at the Ice House in Pasadena.

Of new Dodger owner Frank McCourt, Riley says: “He bought the parking lot, the bathrooms and the concession stands. For everything else, there’s MasterCard.”

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Jumping the gun: At the Players Championship on Sunday, Adam Scott pulled his second shot at 18 into the water, making a playoff with Padraig Harrington a possibility. When a shot was shown of the engraver etching Scott’s name into the trophy, NBC’s Dan Hicks said, “I hope that thing’s got an eraser.”

Scott, however, managed to get up and down for the win, prompting commentator Johnny Miller to say of the engraver: “He’s probably the most relieved guy in town.”

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Trivia answer: Robert Short.

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And finally: Michael Ventre of MSNBC.com, on “Deadwood,” the new HBO series: “I was a little surprised to find out it was a Western. I thought it was about the Dodgers’ batting order.”

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Larry Stewart can be reached at larry.stewart@latimes.com.