French Lesson

The biggest man in the biggest series in the NBA sticks out his small, unscarred hand.

This is not a hand that weaves the ball through the world’s best players.

This is a hand that waves goodbye through the window of a school bus.

“Ah, a journaleest from L.A.,” says Tony Parker, his accent more sidewalk cafe than streetball. “Ah, good.”

He looks like a polite schoolboy, but plays like a ruler to the knuckles.

He sounds like a maitre d’, but plays like a bartender.

For the San Antonio Spurs, he is charming, inventive, Moulin Rouge without the rouge.

For the Lakers, he is lost in translation ... and transition.

In the de facto NBA championship series that begins today, Tony Parker is the real spur, a swift and unchecked pain in Hall of Famer hindquarters.

“In this series he’s huge, huge,” says Mario Elie, Spur assistant coach. “When he’s on his game, using his speed, the little French guy is amazing.”

It is a speed that burned the Lakers for 29 points and nine assists in their last meeting, the Spurs’ April 4 victory at Staples Center.

It is a speed that singed the Lakers last year in the Spurs’ second-round playoff win, furnishing Mitch Kupchak with an invoice for the purchase of Gary Payton.

Yet in this case, even the Glove doesn’t fit.

It is a speed that frustrated the aging Payton two years ago -- two years ago! -- when Parker shot more than 50% against him in helping the Spurs to a first-round series win against the Seattle Supersonics.

For Tim Duncan, the Lakers have Karl Malone.

For Manu Ginobili, they have Kobe Bryant.

For Parker, they have nobody, which means they must have everybody.

Payton and Derek Fisher must funnel. Shaquille O’Neal must jump. Bryant must help, even if it means guarding him solely and risking Parker’s inventive playmaking.

Bad enough that Parker can outrun everyone even when he’s moping.

This week, they must stop him when he’s beaming?

“Everybody says, ‘Oh, too bad, you have to play the Lakers,’ and I don’t agree,” Parker says. “I love playing the Lakers. Ever since I’ve been here, it’s been all about the Lakers. This is why you play, to create these moments, to get those memories.”

Parker, 21, is old enough to have won an NBA championship but still young enough to swoon.

“I love playing in Staples Center, the atmosphere, all the stars,” he says. “Every time I play there, I call my family that night and say, ‘Guess who I saw today?’ ”

Like most NBA vets, he has a favorite courtside face, this one belonging to Denzel Washington.

But unlike most vets, he’s never quite summoned the courage to meet him.

“But I’ve seen his movies,” Parker says with a hopeful grin.

When Parker arrived in San Antonio from Paris, a foreign-raised prospect who did not play college basketball, his favorite star was the one he saw in the mirror.

Like many players in their first seasons after skipping college, he wanted the ball and he wanted it now. There was no shot too wild, no game he couldn’t save, no pout he wouldn’t try.

Remind you of anybody?

The Lakers coddled Kobe Bryant.

The Spurs have hammered Tony Parker.

Gregg Popovich has screamed at him, scowled at him, benched him, again and again, as recently as last month after he made one of his first 10 shots against Memphis.

“Yeah, at times, I may be too tough on him,” Popovich said. “He’s only 21 years old, and I want him to play like he’s 32. I’ve been totally unreasonable in my impatience. But I figured, better to do that than to stroke him.”

Parker handled it all. He took Popovich to dinner to thank him. He gained the trust of veterans who protect him.

“There will be times when he’s coming off the court, I’m ready to let him have it, and one of the veterans will give me a look like, ‘Pop, it’s OK, I got him,’ ” said Popovich.

Instead of isolating himself from the Spurs, Parker has used his first three seasons to lose himself within the Spurs.

From their unmarked practice facility to their unremarkable quotes, everything about the Spurs screams, “Team!”

One of the loudest voices now belongs to Parker, who in the last month has elevated his game to a level in which he plays smart even when he’s not scoring, and plays defense even when he’s not asked.

He demolished Jason Williams in the first-round against Memphis, averaging 21 points and nine assists, and when the Lakers see him today, he’ll be sitting at the grown-up table.

“I feel a lot more comfortable, I feel like I’ve gotten a lot more mature,” Parker says. “Now, if my shot is not falling, I’ll be involved, play defense, do what Pop wants from me.”

What he wants from him, first, is to ignore one of his idols.

Yeah, like many guards worldwide, Parker grew up admiring Payton, and if that doesn’t make the Laker guard feel old, nothing will.

“It’s weird, playing him,” Parker says. “I just have to play the game and not watch him.”

What Popovich wants, second, is for Parker to lose his short-term memory.

“That’s one of the big things on my list for Game 1, I want to see how he reacts,” says Popovich. “If he comes out like, ‘This is a cakewalk, I’ll just do what I did in Memphis’ ... I’ll be a big sledgehammer on him at halftime.”

Popovich says, however, that he expects to keep all tools in the trunk.

“I’m confident he’ll come out with what I call ‘appropriate fear,’ ” he says.

When it comes to Tony Parker, the Lakers need to share that emotion.

Only, it’s a little more appropriate, and a lot more scary.

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Bill Plaschke can be reached at bill.plaschke@latimes.com. For previous columns by Plaschke, go to latimes.com/plaschke.

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NBA PLAYOFFS | LAKERS AT SAN ANTONIO Game 1 of the Western Conference semifinals, today, 12:30 p.m. PDT, Channel 7

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(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX)

Parker’s Pace

Tony Parker’s statistics against the Lakers in the 2003 Western Conference semifinals and against Memphis in the first round this season:

2003 VS. LAKERS

*--* GM MIN FGM-A 3PT-A AST PTS 1 34 3-10 0-1 1 9 2 27 5-9 0-0 4 16 3 30 1-8 0-1 4 2 4 43 6-17 1-3 4 14 5 36 8-16 0-0 3 21 6 40 9-19 2-4 5 27 AVG 45.1 32-79 (40.5) 3-9 (33.3) 3.5 14.8 2004 VS. MEMPHIS GM MIN FGM-A 3PT-A AST PTS 4 37.0 29-55 (58.8) 11-16 (68.8) 3.0 24.3

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