NASCAR Blows by Lakers in Race for Must-See TV

The Lakers and NASCAR went head to head on television Sunday and we have to honestly say it was a slam dunk for the gear heads.

The Lakers, meanwhile, leaked oil all over the SBC Center in a 10-point playoff loss to San Antonio.

It was a day of blown gaskets, busted ignition switches, internal combustion, vapor lock and cautionary flags -- but enough about Gary Payton’s performance.

We read where Los Angeles had become the No. 2 NASCAR television market in the country but figured there was no way the left-turners at Fontana’s Auto Club 500 could compete with our beloved Lakers on competing channels.

Wrong.

Given the choices -- which, by the way, both involved gears grinding -- what was the better remote control decision?

Click (Lakers): Tony Parker scores uncontested layup.

Click (NASCAR): Commercial for Valvoline.

Click (Lakers): Laker Coach Phil Jackson appears hot under the collar.

Click (NASCAR): Temperature on race track measured at 135 degrees.

Click (Lakers): Shaquille O’Neal called for three seconds in the lane.

Click (NASCAR): Kasey Kahne’s crew completes pit stop in 13.5 seconds.

Click (Lakers): Lakers commit one of 22 turnovers.

Click (NASCAR): Drivers complete one of 250 laps.

Click (Lakers): ABC analyst reports “Kobe Bryant came out of the locker room whistling.”

Click (NASCAR): Fox announcer reports, “You can’t never quit adjusting that race car.”

Click (Lakers): San Antonio wins; Jackson says Lakers ran out of gas.

Click (NASCAR): Jeff Gordon wins, announcer says Bobby Labonte ran out of gas.

Lakers and Spurs play again Wednesday.

Sure hope it doesn’t conflict with a car race.

More second thoughts and rim shots ...

* Impressions of NHL playoffs so far?

I’m no expert on the subject, although I recently became bored certified.

* Smarty Jones becomes the second Pennsylvania-bred horse to win Kentucky Derby.

One more Derby win for the state would match Penn State’s 2003 win total in football.

* Barry Bonds is on pace to walk more than 220 times this season.

If the Kentucky Derby is the most exciting two minutes in sports, watching Bonds walk is the least.

* New York Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter ends 0-for-32 streak.

O’Neal boasts he has never gone that many tries without making a free throw.

* NCAA will hold schools accountable for academic success.

I thought the NCAA was on to something here until finding out Jim Harrick Jr. was on the advisory board.

What to make of these “groundbreaking” reforms? The good schools will follow the rules, as always, and the shady ones will do what they’ve always done to circumvent NCAA legislation: cheat.

* Denver Bronco draft pick Tatum Bell asks team if he can wear uniform No. 7.

Whoa, there, Tatum, that’s like a Yankee draft choice asking for No. 3.

Did Bell crawl out from under a rock?

Perhaps -- he attended college in Stillwater, Okla.

Bell, who wore No. 7 while playing running back at Oklahoma State, said he believed he couldn’t have the same number with the Broncos because the NFL did not allow running backs to wear single digits.

That, and the fact John Elway wore No. 7.

* As security measure for upcoming Olympics, Greeks will employ divers to protect port in city of Piraeus.

Security diving will be classified as a “demonstration sport” this year with a chance of becoming a medal event in 2008.

* Pacific 10 Conference opposes ABC plan to add a “national title” game after the college football bowl season.

The conference is adamantly opposed to extending play beyond the regular season and proved it this year in the NCAA basketball tournament.

* Nebraska football draws 61,417 people for its spring game.

UCLA wrapped up drills Saturday in front of an estimated 1,200.

Obviously, some fans are more excited than others about the implementation of the West Coast offense.

* Maury Wills says Dodger Dave Roberts is too nice.

Might we suggest for Roberts:

Breakfast with Simon Cowell.

Lunch with Donald Trump.

Dinner with Tim Duncan.

* “Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius” opens in theaters.

You mean to tell me this movie is not about the former Philadelphia 76er forward?

* Thursday marks the 50th anniversary of Roger Bannister’s running the first sub-four-minute mile.

Here’s the incredible part. He never cashed in on his incredible feet. He took a pass on the 1956 Olympics. He didn’t hire an agent, or collect a check for Swanson TV dinners “Ready in 3:59.4 or your money back!”

Bannister competed for sport’s sake. He wanted to become a doctor, not a millionaire. He accomplished something remarkable and happily drifted out of the limelight.

In other news, pitcher Pedro Martinez, making only $17.5 million this year, broke off contract negotiations with the Boston Red Sox.

* Martinez might be interested in returning to the Dodgers.

Just asking: Would Martinez be returning with his fastball or Tim Wakefield’s?

* Texas Rangers lead American League West.

Anyone else notice that, through April, the last-place team shortstop Alex Rodriguez left is higher in the standings than the pennant-winning team he joined?

* Jury acquits Jayson Williams of aggravated manslaughter charges.

Story line: Former NBA star hires high-priced legal team to clear him of serious allegations.

Analysis: Bryant is sleeping better.