Suddenly, These Dogs Have New Leash on Life

Walking the Dogs all the way to the finish line ...

Bow-WOW!

It was a struggle, all right, but we got them there, and the Choking Dogs are no more. They are National League West Division champions, and while it helps that Colorado, San Francisco, Arizona and San Diego were self-destructive, the victory champagne -- they tell me -- tastes just the same.

(They don’t offer a playoff share and they hoard the champagne, and they wonder why some people always seem bitter.)

We were right from the start, of course, predicting the Angels would clinch before the Dodgers could ever think of such a thing, celebrating a good 29 minutes before Steve Finley leaped into a pile of teammates, and that’s why it pays to listen to sportswriters who just know these things.

As for Finley hitting 13 home runs in a Dodger uniform, including a division-clinching grand slam, I told him on your behalf, “Not bad for an old man.”

As for the Micro Manager, Jim Tracy, congratulations. This is no time to harp on that ridiculous decision to suddenly stop micro-managing for the first time in four years and not pinch-hit for pitcher Wilson Alvarez with the Dodgers trailing, 2-0, and runners on second and third. Won’t even mention it.

As for Jose Lima, the Miracle Man, I offered him a chance for an “I told you so,” and he said, “You were wrong,” and I just hate it when the players get me mixed up with Plaschke.

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I COULDN’T be happier for the Miracle Man because I knew how much face time was at stake the way Fox covers the baseball playoffs.

Given Fox’s love of gizmos, I’d imagine they’ll install miniature TV cameras in each of Lima’s spikes, maybe drape one around his neck, and you can bet he’ll be miked and probably wearing a backup just in case he wears one out.

You know how Fox likes to turn the camera on the manager, then the opposing manager, then a nervous fan, then a nervous ballplayer, the pitcher and back to the nervous fan ... before every pitch. I’m pretty sure this time you’ll see Fox turning the camera on the manager, and then Lima, the opposing manager and Lima, the nervous fan, and Lima, the nervous ballplayer, and Lima ...

“It wasn’t a miracle what I did this season [winning 13 games],” Lima protested, and you have to admire his humility, but a year ago Lima was pitching for the Newark Bears and Saturday he was taking a playoff-clinching-victory lap around the entire stadium. What do you call that?

Of course, he was the only one taking a victory lap around the entire stadium, but just imagine how frustrated and disappointed the TV crews would have been had no one taken the initiative to celebrate in such a show-stopping fashion.

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HERE’S WHAT I’ll remember from the Dodgers’ clinching victory:

* The Micro Manager’s brilliant strategy of starting Elmer Dessens. The Dodgers needed someone to battle the Giants, and who better than a guy with a funny first name who has probably had to fight all his life for respect? Why would you name your kid Elmer?

* The fans chanting “Hee-Seop Choi” in the ninth inning. It’s the funniest thing I heard all year, and I don’t know where he was sitting, but I’m guessing it was GM Paul DePodesta who started it. Spurred on by the fans’ support, Choi walked.

“After he drew the walk I turned to Kim Ng [the Dodger executive who made sure Eric Gagne didn’t get the salary he wanted in arbitration before the season began],” DePodesta said, “and I told her, ‘I wish he had hit a granny.’ ” I’m sure DePodesta was referring to a grand slam and not one of the older Dodger fans.

* As the World Turns. The “Firecracker” -- well, that’s how the Boston Parking Lot Attendant’s wife was described in a recent Calendar story -- kissing DePodesta in the postgame celebration. I just report what I see.

* The scoreboard’s note that Jason Grabowski set a Dodger record, eclipsing Manny Mota’s mark of 60 pinch-hit appearances in 1968 with 69 this season. Surprisingly, there was no mention of Grabowski’s .173 batting average as the Dodgers’ record-holding pinch-hitter. You think it’s easy winning the National League West title when your leading pinch-hitter is hitting .173? That’s how good the Dodgers are.

* Finley’s grand slam and the way folks reacted. As soon as Finley’s shot cleared the wall, players and coaches swarmed the field, but the smartest of them all was coach John Shelby, who ran directly to the seats of the Boston Parking Lot Attendant to hug him first.

* Finley’s professional approach to the game. He said he began visualizing the game-winning hit weeks ago only to be thrown a curve. “I pictured myself getting the game-winning hit off Dustin Hermanson, but it wasn’t him when I came to the plate,” he said. “But still I knew I was going to get it done.” Grabowski might want to try a little visualization.

* Milton Bradley going full circle. In the postgame celebration, the Micro Manager kissed Bradley on the cheek and then hugged him for a solid minute. Bradley started crying; I’m not surprised he doesn’t get hugged much.

* Just a guess. I can’t swear it’s true, but I’d imagine the first thought that crossed the mind of the Parking Lot Attendant was now he can raise ticket prices next year.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from John Hayes:

“Besides baseball, I wonder what other sports you know nothing about?”

That’s P-l-a-s-c-h-k-e. Bad enough the players get us mixed up.

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Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@ latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.