Isla Vista Patrol Officers Have to Stomach Some Strange Stories

When Isla Vista Foot Patrol officers asked an underage beer buyer if they could look in her car trunk, she tried to discourage them by warning that it contained “some ski boots that smelled bad.”

But the officers gamely said that they’d like to look anyhow, reported the Daily Nexus, UC Santa Barbara’s newspaper. The 20-year-old woman was cited for possessing a 12-pack in the compartment.

Officers, by the way, didn’t need to resort to gas masks.

Slow transit: Unusual responses from folks questioned by the Isla Vista Foot Patrol are gathered on the unit’s website. Take the time officers in the Santa Barbara County town asked a drunk crawling slowly along a gutter where he was headed.

Drunk: “Um ... home ... yeah, I’m on my way home.” Officer: “And where is home?” Drunk: “San Jose.”

Guide to Adventurous Dining: Today’s specials du column (see accompanying) include:

* A restaurant evidently specializing in upside-down cake (Carlton Shepard)

* An eatery where there’s some confusion over who’s in the kitchen (also by Shepard)

* A delicious Pomeranian plate (Terry Mull)

* And, finally, further evidence of the current obsession with carbs (Dan Fink).

Second helping: Or could C.A.R.B. refer to the California Air Resources Board?

More food for thought: The other day, on a visit to Western Michigan University, commentator Pat Buchanan was doused with salad dressing by a protester.

Actor/writer Will Rogers noticed that the CNN.com website, which picks up keywords and features related advertisers, accompanied coverage of the salad dressing attack with ads for “Gourmet Salad Dressing at Foodlocker.com,” “Briannas Salad Dressing” and “Aunt Viola’s Caesar Salad Dressing.”

I hope the protester didn’t use that last brand. I’d hate to see him give Aunt Viola a bad name.

miscelLAny: A radio ad for a Learning Annex seminar featuring Donald Trump promised to teach attendees “how to be rich like Donald Trump.” One tip: Have a father who had already made a fortune in real estate, such as Fred Trump.