Not All Is Golden When You Moto Down Memory Lane

ESPN’s cleverly disguised ploy to bulk up the frequent-flier portfolios of its anchors, “50 States * 50 Days,” came to Los Angeles this week to do its “SportsCenter” take on California in between bone-breaking news emanating from the X Games.

As with those competing in X Games 11 (X Games XI?), protective padding was advised for local viewers curious to see what Bristol, Conn., thinks of our advantaged home field.

Thursday was California’s day on the itinerary. John Anderson introduced the state as “home to one of every eight Americans and their automobiles. A state with sporting kings in both L.A. and Sacramento and athletic royalty produced in the same abundance as almonds and avocados. And then there was NFL commissioner Pete Rozelle on top of all that.”

A lot of good that did us. Rozelle’s gone and so are the Rams and the Raiders as we enter Decade Two as an Ex-NFL City.

ESPN’s California sports montage began with “The Play” (Cal-Stanford, 1982), then rolled out the greatest hits: Lew Alcindor/Kareem Abdul-Jabbar before and after the name change, John Wooden, Jackie Joyner-Kersee, Matt Leinart, Kirk Gibson, Joe Montana and Barry Bonds.

The montage was telling.

Leinart -- not O.J.

Gibson -- and not a Dodger moment since ’88.

Bonds -- but no Victor Conte.

There was also no hockey. No Wayne Gretzky. No Paul Kariya. Not surprising, I suppose. When it came to hockey during the last 12 months, Staples Center and the Arrowhead Pond played host to only Ex-Games.

“Looking for Linda Cohn in the Golden State?” Anderson said by way of segue. “X marks the spot.”

Cohn drew the Los Angeles assignment for “50 States * 50 Days,” which meant sitting behind a desk alongside the ramps and amped bike riders competing in the X-Ray Games. Before the day was done, BMX vert rider Dave Mirra would land on his face and suffer a concussion, BMX vert rider John Parker would land on his face and knock himself unconscious and moto X best trick competitor Chuck Carothers would land in a frightening heap and miraculously walk away with apparently nothing more serious than a broken collarbone.

“This is the moment that we all hate as fans, announcers, fellow riders, family,” commentator Cameron Steele said after Carothers fell off his bike while attempting to duplicate the “body varial” maneuver that won him the championship last year.

“All we can say is there’s an expert medical staff here at the X Games....Freestyle motocross is such a gnarly sport. You look at what he just did. He’s basically 40 feet off the ground traveling a 45-foot distance, he’s throwing the motorcycle away and spinning around above it.”

Added analyst Tes Sewell: “And let’s not forget the motorcycle itself is 220 pounds -- and it is looking for you whenever you make a mistake. But Chuck understands that.”

At that point, Chuck was still face down in the dirt, motionless, with medical staffers and concerned competitors huddling around him.

“And you can also see Travis Pastrana coming over to check on him,” Steele said. “And Travis is limping away, definitely nursing some injuries.”

At the X Games, everybody seems to be nursing some injuries.

Incredibly, Carothers was soon back on his feet, waving to the crowd, eventually clear-headed enough to conduct a post-crash interview with Jamie Little.

Little: “What happened here? Clavicle?”

Carothers: “Um, yeah, feels like my collarbone is broke. Could be separated, could be something. But something’s messed up in there. But they heal pretty quick, so I’m not too worried about it.”

In 40 words or less, that is the essence of the X Games. ESPN will provide medal standing and medical updates today with two rounds of X Games coverage, beginning at 10 a.m. and 6 p.m., with ABC providing three-hour blocks of coverage today and Sunday, each beginning at noon.

Also available for viewing this weekend:

TODAY

* Dodgers at Pittsburgh Pirates

(Channel 13, 4 p.m.)

After doing some scouting around Dodger Stadium searching for a positive story for its “50 * 50” segment, ESPN impressively uncovered one: peanut vendor Roger Owens.

Cohn introduced Owens as the “legendary vendor” who “has been pitching peanuts since 1958, the year the Dodgers moved from Brooklyn to Los Angeles.” That qualified as the requisite feel-good story. Unlike, say, a profile on Frank McCourt, who has been pitching peanuts to Dodger players every payday since 2004.

SUNDAY

* Pro Football Hall of Fame Inductions

(ESPN, 10 a.m.)

Dan Marino and Steve Young enter the Hall together. Featured in a promotional ESPN release this week was this quote from Young comparing his scrambling style to Marino’s old-school pocket presence: “It’s kind of fun because we’re bookends.... There was a style that Dan had that was very much more traditional at the time. And I think that my style, while it wasn’t traditional when I started playing, I look around the league today and absolutely, the quarterback can move around. So it’s fun to watch the ebb and flow of the style of quarterback in the league. And we absolutely represent two ends of the spectrum.”

This being a happy day, don’t look for any comments from Boomer Esiason sizing up Marino’s Super Bowl ring collection and calling the new inductee the Peyton Manning of his day.

* “60 Minutes”

(Channel 2, 7 p.m.)

“60 Minutes” rebroadcasts the infamous who’s-doing-steroids interview with Jose Canseco, accompanied by an update on Rafael Palmeiro’s recent drug suspension, which has been quite the credibility enhancer for the much-maligned Canseco.

“Best Damn Sports Show Period” host Chris Rose said this week, “To me, it’s amazing Jose Canseco is going to end up being Woodward and Bernstein in this situation. He’s turning baseball upside down.”