How Many Lawyers Does It Take to Give State Motion Sickness?

The State Bar’s announcement that California had hit the 200,000-lawyer mark, joining New York, was the occasion for a recital of lawyer jokes in the Los Angeles Daily Journal.

Sample:

A doctor told his patient that she had only six months to live.

“Is there anything I can do?” the patient pleaded.

“Marry a lawyer,” the doctor advised. “It will be the longest six months of your life.”

Lawyers, lawyers, everywhere: Danika Vittitoe, a former schoolteacher from Long Beach, had the, uh, distinction of becoming No. 200,000 a couple of weeks ago. “I just hope I’m not one too many,” she said.

The good news: Of the 200,000 lawyers, 42,000 are on voluntary inactive status and 7,000 are ineligible because of misconduct or nonpayment of state bar dues.

Of course, that leaves about 150,000 others looking for someone to sue.

“Which raises the question,” said the Daily Journal. “Why do California and New York have the most lawyers, while New Jersey has the most toxic-waste dumps? Answer: New Jersey got to choose.”

Guide to Adventurous Dining: Today’s specials du column (see accompanying) include:

* A $4.99 seafood shell, prompting Beverly Polokoff to observe: “The actual shrimp must really be expensive.”

* Some sauce that sounds as if it would be difficult to swallow (from Susan Goldberg).

* A house where you won’t find any chilled wine (Deloris St. John).

* A restaurant that isn’t pretentious about its fare (photo by Meredith Burgeson).

* And, for dessert, an item that Lynn Park guesses must be the opposite of “rich” chocolate.

More food for thought: Spotting a menu that listed “Vegetable Tempura (Verduras Fritas),” Dan Fink observed that only in L.A. would a Thai restaurant offer a Spanish translation for a dish.

“It’s as American as apple pie,” Fink said of the eatery, noting that apple pie is item No. 86 on the menu.

miscelLAny: L.A.’s first phone book, published in 1882, carried 92 listings, including those of 22 residents, eight doctors, one real estate agent and no lawyers. There were no ambulance companies listed, either.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.