Taking it easy on the sleepy Mississippi

A calliope on the top deck began blaring a happy tune as our paddle-wheeler eased off the wharf in New Orleans to begin a four-day trip up the Mississippi River to Natchez, Miss., and back. But it was disconcerting to learn that our average speed against the current of the river would be only 6 mph.

I was aboard the 436-passenger American Queen, a replica of the floating palaces of the 1850s that Mark Twain immortalized in his classic “Life on the Mississippi.” The AQ, as we learned to call it, cruises Twain’s favorite river on three- and four-night trips. The journey provided my wife and me with a fine vacation, an exposure to the culture of the South and new acquaintances -- but it is not for everyone.

The positive points first: A Mississippi River cruise encounters no waves or unsettling movements; the floor beneath you is as steady as a rock, and you are never seasick.

A “riverlorian” (expert on the area’s past) presents lectures on the development of Louisiana and Mississippi.

The accommodations are comfortable; the staterooms are twice the size of the average cruise ship cabin. The bathrooms also are larger than found elsewhere.

Public areas are furnished with antiques and antique copies, designed to re-create the rich 19th century look and feel of a paddle-wheeler.

Meals are good, copious and served by an attentive wait staff that is comparable to those of the best cruise ship.

Most surprising, the evening entertainment is superior to what you’d enjoy on most seagoing cruise ships. Because vessels of the Delta Queen Steamboat Co. (parent of the American Queen and two other paddle-wheeling steamers) cruise up and down American rivers, stopping in towns along the way, they usually pick up a city’s best entertainers for a single night’s performance, then drop them off the next morning (instead of employing jacks-of-all-trades to present an entire week’s entertainment on the average ocean cruise).

On our first night, we heard a superb Dixieland quintet of musicians and singers who boarded the ship in New Orleans, including performers who had played with the legendary Al Hirt. On our last night, we thrilled to a Cajun quartet (which played two-step Cajun melodies to dance to) and a Cajun comic from Baton Rouge, La.

So what are the drawbacks of a Mississippi River cruise?

About a third of the passengers was elderly, a ratio higher than on many other cruises. Some livelier cruisers might not appreciate their presence. Another third of the passengers was more active, middle-aged Americans, and the remaining third included families with children, younger couples and a few singles traveling in pairs.

Passengers were American, mainly from the South and Midwest. It was about as traditional a crowd as you can envision, and some regarded lots of card playing as the activity for a cruise.

Some Americans might regard this combination of factors as pointing to a dull vacation.

I didn’t; I enjoyed this respite from a harsher, faster life. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. And for more information, log on to www.deltaqueen.com, or call (800) 543-1949. Three-night cruises range from $795 to $2,175, depending on cabin. Discount programs are available.