Jet Fan Left to Consider What Price Defeat?

College student and New York Jet fan Neill Drake put Doug Brien up for bid on EBay after Brien’s two missed field-goal attempts kept the Jets from beating Pittsburgh, the New York Daily News reported.

Drake also threw in Paul Hackett, free, before Hackett was replaced as the team’s offensive coordinator this week. The bidding started at one cent and peaked at $99,999,999. Of course, the sale never took place.

“We have policies against listing human body parts, and that includes human beings,” an EBay spokesman told the newspaper.

Trivia time: What is unique about the number of innings Eric Gagne has pitched in his three seasons as the Dodger closer?

Not the Trojans: While USC is celebrating a national football championship, the other USC, the University of South Carolina, is having its problems.

Several current and former football players have been charged with stealing $18,000 worth of equipment from the school’s stadium, and last weekend the school’s dance team was banned from performing during timeouts of a men’s basketball game.

The dance team’s captain, Erin Widdle, told the school’s student newspaper, the Gamecock, that the squad, known as the Coquettes, had been told their routines were too suggestive. And there wasn’t even a wardrobe malfunction.

Death wish: An Ottawa hockey fan took his anger over the NHL lockout to his grave. Archie Bennitz, 84, instructed his son to let NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman and union leader Bob Goodenow know how he felt. Bennitz’s obituary in the Ottawa Citizen called Bettman and Goodenow “skunks” for denying him the pleasure of watching the NHL on TV.

Just say no: Letter writer Peter T. Juliano of Buffalo to Sports Illustrated: “I noticed that you are offering subscribers the option of not receiving the swimsuit issue. Is there an 800 number I can call to receive some of the unwanted copies?”

Top this: Regarding a recent Morning Briefing item about the 1983-84 Lakers and 1960-61 Boston Celtics each producing five NBA head coaches, reader Paul Peterson, a transplanted New Englander, points out the 1984-85 Celtics had six future NBA head coaches -- Larry Bird, Rick Carlisle, Dennis Johnson, Danny Ainge, Quinn Buckner and M.L. Carr.

That team also had Kevin McHale, who is vice president of basketball operations for the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Trivia answer: Gagne has pitched the same number of innings each year, 82 1/3 . No other pitcher has done that, although Babe Ruth, who after his first year with the New York Yankees pitched only in 1921, ’30 and ‘33, pitched nine innings in each of the those seasons.

And finally: ESPN today launches a basketball version of “College GameDay,” with Jay Bilas and Digger Phelps serving as analysts.

“I get to be Kirk Herbstreit,” Bilas said.

Replied Phelps: “And I get to be nutty Lee Corso.”

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Larry Stewart can be reached at larry.stewart@latimes.com.