Advertisement

My Life as a Dog

Every canine pun from “Two Paws Up” to “Howlingly Funny” has been used in praise of “Bark!” The hit musical is now enjoying its premiere run through Feb. 27 at the Coast Playhouse in West Hollywood. Directed and choreographed by Kay Cole, who originated the role of Maggie in “A Chorus Line,” the show eavesdrops on a gang of canine characters during a day in doggie day care.

We mingled with the pack after a matinee featuring gems such as “Sock-a-Holic” and “I’m in Love with Lassie.”

*

Chanel (Afghan hound) a.k.a. Katherine Von Till

Advertisement

Hollywood Hills

Tell us about yourself, Chanel.

I’m an Afghan. I was supposed to be a greyhound. As character development came along, I really felt like an Afghan. Perhaps I’m an Afghan in a greyhound’s body.

Why do you feel like an Afghan?

Advertisement

My hair is always getting in my face. I’m also more hairy than leggy.

Are you housebroken?

A lady never discusses such things.

What makes you man’s best friend?

Oh, well, I’m beautiful and loving. I’m warm to cuddle with at night.

Where do you stand on poodles?

Overrated.

What are your hopes and dreams?

Advertisement

I’d like to be the spokesdog for a dog food or a line of jeweled dog collars. I only wear the top of the line.

Your favorite type of human?

I prefer the well-pedigreed human. One who listens to opera.

Who’s your role model?

Barbie’s dog. She rides with Barbie in their Corvette and they live together in the Dreamhouse.

*

Chester (Bloodhound mix) a.k.a. Chad Borden

Toluca Lake

Advertisement

Tell us about yourself, Chester.

I’m mostly bloodhound. Don’t tell anybody, but I’ve got a little German shepherd and a little Irish setter in me. My great-granddaddy was the dog on “The Beverly Hillbillies.”

You opened the second act with a great number, “M-U-T-T Rap.”

I aspire to be a rapper someday. I’m representing the plight of mutts everywhere.

So what would be your rap name? We already have Snoop Dogg.

Something like “The Bone Master.”

How do you feel about cats?

Cats get a bad rap. I’ve had a couple of good friends that are cats. I met the Fancy Feast cat, and she was actually very sweet.

Where do you stand on poodles?

In dog shows, they shave them up like wedding cakes.

What are your hopes and dreams?

To chase rocks and dirt clods.

Who is your role model?

I’ve always loved Lassie. She is such a classy dog. But “she” is really a “he.”

*

Molly (Irish wolfhound) a.k.a. Lauri Johnson

Los Angeles

What is your personality like?

I’m old and irritable. I don’t care what people say. I’m from New York.

Are you housebroken?

Absolutely! What a question to ask an old bitch.

How do you feel about cats?

No use for them. None. All that “let’s make nice among the species” stuff just doesn’t cut it. They’re little. They’re annoying.

Where do you stand on Chihuahuas?

They’re like a cat that yaps.

What are your least favorite type of humans?

I don’t like the storeowners where I can’t go in. The places where I have my leash wrapped around a meter outside. What is that about? It’s completely out of line.

Who is your role model?

Paws down, Rin Tin Tin. He was a looker.

*

Charlie (Jack Russell terrier puppy) a.k.a. Joe Souza

Hollywood

Tell us about yourself, Charlie.

I’m just a little pup. I love doggie day care because I get to run all over the place and pee everywhere.

Are you housebroken?

Nope.

You seem to be proud of that.

Yep.

What are your hopes and dreams?

I want to get big and strong!

But you’re a Jack Russell terrier.

I still can get big and strong!

What breeds do you dislike?

I don’t like Chinese crested because they have no hair and look funny.

What would you like us to know about a dog’s life?

It can be a lot of fun if we have a lot of space to run around and we have a lot of toys and if we are paid attention to and have playmates.

Who is your role model?

Benji is cool.


Advertisement