Greens Look Like Pinehurst Gray Area

Gentlemen, start your whining.

The U.S. Open kicks off today, accompanied by the standard fare of heat and humidity, fear and loathing. It just wouldn’t be right if the weather wasn’t hot enough to melt titanium or if the players didn’t find something wrong with the golf course.

In this case, it’s Pinehurst No. 2, or more specifically, the grassy areas around the greens.

The issue is much more complicated than that, especially because one of the primary complainers is Tiger Woods, whose opinion carries some weight, as you might suppose.

Here’s the short story: The grass isn’t filled in around the greens. There are sandy spots. The sodded areas are not smooth and there are seams in the sod, which could lead to balls bouncing instead of rolling.

This does not make the players happy. What makes the players happy, of course, are fairways wide enough to land an airplane on, greens as soft as pizza dough and scores in the low 60s.

And the next time that happens at the U.S. Open will be the first.

Usually at the U.S. Open, the problem is getting the ball into the hole once you’re on the green. Now, it’s worse than that at Pinehurst No. 2. The No. 1 problem is getting the ball on the green in the first place, before you can even start thinking about getting the ball into the hole.

Woods isn’t the only noted agronomist who has noticed there’s something wrong with the grass around the greens. Phil Mickelson and Retief Goosen, among others, also have voiced concerns.

You can be sure that the higher-ups in the USGA have heard all the complaints and expressions of worry and they have fallen back into their usual position. They will do nothing. No, that’s not quite true. Walter Driver, who is president of the championship committee, said players will be given relief if their balls land in a seam in the sod.

Not only that, the USGA insists it’s going to throw some water on any green that looks as if it’s about to turn brown and die, unlike last year when the only thing missing on Sunday at the seventh green at Shinnecock Hills was somebody playing “Taps.”

Meanwhile, Mickelson forecast a winning score this week of way over par. He may be right too. And if he is, the USGA will feel a lot better about messing up so badly last year at Shinnecock.

Actually, the USGA should just forget the whole thing, stop providing a forum for the players to complain and simply go ahead and do what it does best. Set up the toughest track imaginable.

It’s difficult, if not impossible, to make the players happy, so why try? The players must have short memories. It was only two years ago at the U.S. Open at Olympia Fields when the players complained that the course was too easy. No one could have expected such a complaint.

For the first three rounds, Olympia Fields really wasn’t nasty, but that’s because rain had softened up the place. When the sun came out and the wind blew Sunday, the scores went through the roof as usual.

If you really want to get technical about it, the whole thing is Woods’ fault in the first place. Ever since he set an Open scoring record in 2000 at Pebble Beach, USGA officials have tripped all over their tasseled loafers in a continuing effort to make it tougher and tougher.

Check the highlight reel. In 2001 at Southern Hills, they actually had to grow grass at the front of the 18th green to give shots a chance to stay aboard instead of rolling off.

At Bethpage Black in 2002, the 10th hole was 275 yards to carry a gorge just to reach the fairway, and also played into the wind. Olympia Fields would have been more than just the Sunday monster it turned out to be if the weather had been normal. And last year’s shakedown at Shinnecock has all the makings of an instant cult classic.

Just as there is a history of the U.S. Open as a playpen ringed with barbed wire, there’s also a history of the players complaining about it. If anybody’s keeping score, they’re even.

We’ve come to expect nothing less from either side, so let’s just get on with it. It’s the U.S. Open, after all. See who finds the first seam in the sod.